- If the party starts at 11, begin drinking at 8. Obviously.
- Only drink 100 proof vodka. Half a bottle, if you have it.
- When you arrive at the bar, loudly exclaim "WHO THE FUCK ARE THOSE OLD PEOPLE?"
- A friend may decide to introduce herself to people she doesn't know as a lesbian. Let her.
- If one of your friends bends the other over and starts simulating a sex act, cheer them on.
- If one of your friends straddles the other and starts simulating a sex act, cheer a little louder.
- Shove your face in your friend's crotch repeatedly. Because that's funny, even when it becomes apparent that no one else got the memo.
- After 90 minutes, stumble away while half-assedly saying goodbye to all of your co-workers.
Seriously though, what about that promotion?