Thursday, September 08, 2011

Funny How That Works

Interesting that when I've had way too much to drink, I perhaps grab a falafel or something on the way home and eat a bit of it before I crawl into bed to pass out.

Much more dangerous are the nights like last night, where I've only had a couple of drinks, but just enough to destroy any willpower and cause me to eat an ENTIRE LARGE PEPPERONI AND MUSHROOM DEEP DISH PIZZA.

In case you were wondering, that's almost 3,000 calories in one sitting. Paging Jenny Craig...

Friday, September 02, 2011

Send In The Clowns

I wasn't even planning to blog again this week, and then I saw a Facebook status update from my favorite friend that I haven't talked to or interacted with in any way for over 6 years. Surely you remember her, the star of a blog post from a few months back?

Looked at what she's been up to over the last week, and wouldn't you know it, bitch is still crazy.

Well, good thing you posted this on Facebook. How else would we all have known how hot and desirable you are to men of all ages?

Hmm, not *completely* over it, I'm guessing.

More importantly, how are you not punched in the face on an hourly basis?

No one called you.

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My only regret is that I didn't take these screenshots yesterday when she had a completely ridiculous cleavage-baring profile photo up. I have failed you, dear readers.