In case anyone other than Emily is interested in this stuff, here's one for you...
Jessica X 6 drinks + 0 dinner = Beligerence.
Evidence: After 4 vodka drinks and 2 beers on an empty stomach, Jessica spots a man in a PITT (University of Pittsburgh, for the uninformed) sweatshirt. She then begins yelling "SHIT ON PITT! SHIT ON PITT!" for entirely too long, until not only does the guy take his sweatshirt off, but the bartender tells her to shut the fuck up.
Similarly: Zander X 6 drinks + 0 dinner = Me barely getting to work in time for my 10am meeting.
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