Crackheads Represent

Reasons why everyone on Saturday night must have thought we were on some hardcore drugs:

• Emily and I trashing the Christmas decorations (breaking candy canes, pounding the walls, tearing down ribbons) simply because we could

• [A friend who will remain unnamed] lying on her back with her legs in the air, demanding someone give her something, anything, so she could demonstrate her ability to pop objects out of her cooch

• Emily and I starting a water fight which resulted in me getting soaking wet, as well as some slightly damp and really pissed off bystanders

• Phil wearing an orange turtleneck with short sleeves (as in an orange turtleneck with short sleeves) that only someone on some serious acid would have thought was a good idea (sorry, dude)

• Jessica pointing at a guy she had just met 4 minutes earlier, yelling "Somebody get this stiff a drink!"

• Did I mention this was a house party where we didn't know anyone?
  

This night was made possible by my brother and the 100 proof bottle of Stoli he gave me for my birthday. You idiot.