I was alerted to the fact that Santa Claus himself is on IM. I'm sure some people think it's just some automated IM bot that doesn't actually understand what you're saying, but my Christmas spirit came through and we had a nice chat...
Zander: what's UP dude
SantaClaus: Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas! I'm here on AIM! So, have you been naughty or nice?*
Zander: very very naughty
SantaClaus: Oh dear! Well, there is still time to get on my good list.
Zander: uh right...SO...wanna get a drink?
SantaClaus: Hmm. Why don't you type 'music', maybe that will put you in the Christmas spirit
Zander: listen, let's be serious...i doubt a chubs like you gets the chance to go out and party very often, so why don't we hit up a few bars?
SantaClaus: It depends if Christmas is coming or not
Zander: but you have all that midget slave labor to build the toys, let's hang out
SantaClaus: Oh my. That is a mouthful. I'm so busy typing to so many children, could you send me a slightly smaller note?
Zander: heh...mouthful...i always knew you were a perv, sneaking into kids bedrooms and all that
SantaClaus: Goodness, that's too much for me to read.
Zander: so you're fat AND stupid
SantaClaus: Well, I am trying to learn.
*His lame attempts to sell me goods and services have been removed from the transcript