Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Fuglia Stiles

So on Sunday evening I was coerced into going to see The Omen, that stupid "6-6-6" movie that looked silly from the second they started advertising it.

Now I can deal with stupid horror movies. And I'll tell people it wasn't really scary, but I did a jump/muted yell thing a couple of times. Then again one of those times was when my phone vibrated in my pocket, so it's not like the movie can take all the credit.

But by far the most horrifying thing about this movie was the fact that Julia Stiles was in it. How's that for a nasty surprise.

Just for the record, and in case anyone wasn't aware, I think Julia Stiles is HIDEOUS. I'm sure she's a wonderful girl who is down to earth and gives back to the community, however one look at her face can only confirm that she must be one of the most obvious cases of undiagnosed down syndrome ever to fug the silver screen. I have no idea how she ever scored any of her starring roles, but I'm sure it's some Tori Spelling-type situation. Somehow I find Tori Spelling more bearable because she probably knows she's ugly and talentless and shouldn't be famous in the first place. I think Julia still needs to be clued in.

Even more aggravating is finding the rare rare person who think she's kinda cute, which happened the other day with one of my coworkers. He can't actually name an attractive feature on her pug-like face, which leads me to believe she's the actress that guys go for because she's ACTUALLY attainable. Like she's rich and famous, but it's not like Jared Leto is gonna go for her, so maybe my coworker could snag her. Kinda like that.

So yeah, I sat through this movie and have rarely wanted an "innocent mother" to die more than the demonic devil spawn that was supposed to be the bad guy. Now can whoever keeps putting her in movies please STOP.

That is all.


Ben said...

So her face was the scariest part of the movie, eh? I suspected as much...

emla said...

I HATE her with the intensity of a thousand burning suns.

You know, I've long said that I'd go out of my way to trip her if I see her on the street. Bleach those teeth, girl! They're yellower than ... my hatred of a thousand burning suns.

Vicki said...

And you know what? She's not even nice. One of my friends translated for her at some stupid charity thing she was pretending to care about (like some Mexican orphanage) and she was a total bitch and kept telling my friend she could just go away because she could speak the language but, um, bitch, you can't so fuck off.

Centerfold said...

Love this post.

DJ Shovelpants said...

Zander, you and I are gonna get along just fine. I can't stand this medicine-ball-size-headed-troll.

I actually think she's a dude.

My wife made me sit through one of her movies once and it was so bad I wanted to put the business end of a rifle in my mouth.

Yes. That bad.

n. jax said...

wow. who knew such vitriol existed concerning julia stiles? it's really quite impressive. it's almost as if you've all been waiting for such a post. lol.

go figure. she doesn't register on my radar.

Zander said...

Ha nice timing...Dolly and I were just talking about you!!