Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Greetings From Melbourne...I Hate Everything

So I'm down here for work, extremely stressed, the weather is awful, and all I can think of is a couple of things to bitch about, so here goes:

1) Toothpaste -- I keep meaning to write to Crest and Colgate after each trip to the supermarket where I need to buy toothpaste. Because someone, somewhere, NEEDS to explain to me why there are so many different types. Not brands. I mean, one whitens your teeth, one freshens your breath, and another one prevents cavities.

Now correct me if I'm wrong (which I'm not, because I never am), but isn't toothpaste supposed to do all of those things? And what numb nuts walks down the aisle thinking "Well, I definitely want whiter teeth, but fresh breath, no way!" If that person exists, I want to lobotomize them with a plastic spoon, if that isn't what's happened already.

2) Grapes -- or more specifically, grapes with seeds in them. I just need to know...WHY?! Are there really people on this planet who enjoy biting into a grape and then having to spit out the remnants of a seed? Why aren't all grapes seedless? Why do the fruit growers and distributors of the world hate me?


That is all. I will try and be a little cheerier tomorrow.

3 comments:

Freak Magnet said...

I just imagined having minty fresh breath and then biting down on a grape seed.

Um, ew.

Vicki said...

American Airlines already got an earful from me about their nasty grapes with seeds. We all know airplane food sucks but serving grapes with seeds is just kicking us when we're down.

Anonymous said...

Dear Vicki

What can I say - I hear you!

John