I Am So NOT Australian

Don't know how I forgot to mention this as soon as this tragedy took place, but not long ago I was convinced to try the oh-so-Australian product known as Vegemite.

Now I am the type of person that is willing to try almost anything at least once -- I can't stand people that won't even give something new at least one shot before saying it sucks. However in this case I will only say that I should have known better.

See, I already knew that Vegemite is made from what's left over after beer has been brewed. And there's a reason that it's left over, or at least that is what common sense would indicate. Not only that, but it's brown and ridiculously salty, and I'm not a huge fan of salty foods. So there was almost no way in hell I would like this stuff.

But like I said, why not try it. Of course as soon as the piece of toast with this vile concoction on it hit my tongue, I started to gag. Determined not to just vomit all over the place I chewed on that little piece of toast and swallowed it in the hopes that it would be over quickly, but the taste just sat there in my mouth. It was at least 2 drinks and various foodstuffs later that I was able to put the whole traumatic experience behind me.

So if any Australian ever offers you Vegemite, or even starts to sing its praises, DO NOT BE FOOLED. It is vile and was probably created by Satan.


*This message brought to you by the Association of Survivors of Vegemite.