Gotta Love A Long Weekend

Sorry for disappearing for a few days, but it was a long weekend here in Australia and I was only getting out of bed for food, beer, or the beach. Here's a bite size recap of the last few days...


THURSDAY

Overall a quiet night (meaning dinner and two bars), although after a few glasses of wine in a restaurant I was convinced by my dining partner that it would be absolutely hilarious if I tossed the restaurant's silverware into the purse of the woman sitting next to me. I stopped before I could get the salt shaker in there, but I was pretty proud of myself. And was then informed that it didn't count because on the way out of the establishment I failed to notify the staff that there was a suspicious-looking woman placing forks and whatever else into her purse. Sonofabitch.

FRIDAY

Met my cousin Sarah and her coworkers for drinks, where John and I decided it was time to unleash our arsenal of racist, sexist, and generally offensive jokes on the poor kids. Nothing says "great first impression" like looks of total shock and disgust, or so my momma always used to tell me.

SATURDAY

Something about Saturdays and binge drinking that just goes together, apparently. Started around 1 at a BBQ and I'll be fucked if I can remember much else before waking up with a spectacular hangover the next morning.

SUNDAY

The weather was flawless and spent most of the day between the beach and the beer garden, but what made it the best was that I finally saw the music video for "I Want You" by Paris Avenue, my favorite song at the moment, AND there were hookers in it. I swear, sometimes it's like people are just reading my mind!

MONDAY

Um, and nearing the top of the list of "ways to end a dinner party badly", we have "Serve your guests beer, white wine, red wine, and then GIN". Yeah, that's really all I have to say about that, although I will say that if I never again hear someone I've just met utter the words "you can have a Thai teenager for like ten bucks!", it will be too soon. Jesus.



Anyway now it's Tuesday, everyone I know is back at work (suckers), and I'm sitting in an internet cafe listening to fantastically horrible euro dance music and sitting next to a little nerdy girl who appears to be IMing with someone who's face looks remarkably similar to a large penis. Pervy little minx.

Catch you guys later, I need an afternoon nap, tonight's supposed to be a big one and I like to have plenty of energy before I vomit all over a foreign city.