Happy National Alcohol Screening Day to everyone out there!
In case you were worried that you might be a healthy individual, fear not -- according to someone (we can only assume it's those 'experts' we're always hearing about in the news), "Moderate alcohol use is defined as up to two drinks per day for men and one drink per day for women and older people."
Which makes everyone I know over the age of 11 a serious alcoholic, but whatever. It's not like I haven't spent plenty of time ripping on the supposed definition of alcohol abuse before.
Don't panic just yet though -- I went out for drinks with my coworkers last night, and we established that unless you wake up naked with an overweight farm animal and some used sex toys in your bed the next morning, you didn't overdrink the night before. Feeling better already, huh? Yeah, I can tell.