Monday, November 01, 2004

I Heart Racism.

Last night was a sad, sad sign of the state of racial tolerance in this country. Our Halloween party crew included:

  • a Jamaican with a huge blunt
  • a Thai whore
  • an Iraqi concubine...oh I mean "a genie"
  • a white guy (that would be me)

After 2 hours of drinking at my place, about 9 of us headed to my friends' loft in Chelsea. We actually thought the other passengers on the F train were gonna beat the shit out of us at one point, and apparently I asked a girl with a Kerry/Edwards pin if she was supposed to be a Democratic whore. Oh that reminds me -- to top off our journey, the elevator in my friends' building broke and we had to get out and walk through the whore house on the 4th floor to get upstairs. (Props to whoever managed to yell out "OH MY GOD THIS IS THE WHORE HOUSE!" with the whores staring directly at us.)

My 'white guy' character just consisted of dressing poorly and telling racist jokes. And then we have Emily, who was supposed to be Chloe Sevigny, but unless Ms. Sevigny is a total drunken asstard, I'm not sure she pulled it off. Emily managed to:

  • fall down several flights of stairs
  • ask me several hours into the night "HEY! We're in Manhattan?!?!" (how do you forget a subway ride where EVERYONE blatantly hates us?)
  • prompt a stranger to ask the hosts to remove her from the party after she hugged them while laughing hysterically at her own bad joke, and then dropped her drink on their foot
  • berate my brother for being in a serious relationship
  • wake up with a black eye and various other assorted injuries

Y'all white people CRAZY!

No comments: