Let's face it, I'm not nearly enough of an alcoholic to make a substantial post every single day. To drink that much I would really have to hate myself, and to be honest, I'm a pretty big fan.
So I'd like to take a moment to honor our idols -- those out there who are so committed to getting shit-faced, that they toss aside what little sense of shame they might possess, and make complete spectacles of themselves on a regular basis.
So without further ado, I present Mr. Andy Dick.:
The New York Post reports that a stinking drunk and totally out-of-control Dick groped male and female clubgoers, and then rolled around on the men's room floor screaming for someone to get him some cocaine. Then, he barricaded himself in the club's kitchen and started sobbing about the death of his good friend Rick James. "My best friend is dead!" he blubbered. "He's gone! He's dead! You don't understand! All my best friends die!"
The host of the party, *NSync's Joey Fatone, whom Dick kept calling "Fat One," escorted Andy out of the club and put him in a cab, but not before Dick punched an unidentified man in the face. Wait, there's more. Instead of calling it a night, Dick had the cabdriver drop him off at another club, where a source said Andy stole kisses from unsuspecting passersby and bitch-slapped those who refused his advances. The club owner said the last time he saw Dick, the comedian was rolling around on the sidewalk in front of the club.
I can only dream of being that ridiculous. Until then, consider me in training.