Santa Thinks I'm A Ho Ho Ho

So now that all my Christmas gifts are in, I thought I'd post the rundown of what I got, and what the life implications are associated with each.

Cousin Emma seemed to think it was appropriate to buy me a pair of pink Aussie Bum knickers. She clearly got me confused with one of the more solidly built models on their website, but I can try and work it. And it's always good to know that your 19-year-old cousin thinks you dress like a table dancer at a trashy gay bar.






Besides, they went so well with the baby blue track pants and the wife beater, as you can see here.






Of course the piece de resistance would easily be the pair of speedos Emma also thought I could use. I'm pretty sure most of my friends would disagree, since the last time I donned a pair of tight swim shorts they reacted by projectile vomiting in my general direction, but why not give it a shot and show some sun to parts of my body that haven't seen any since I ran around naked as a toddler.


And finally, the only non-trashy present I received was this lovely bike. As soon as I got it I thought about how much money I could save riding a bike to the bars instead of taking taxis. I then thought of the increased medical costs involved in attempting to ride a bike back from the bars, and figured maybe I'll have to find other uses for it. It's purdy though, huh?



So yeah, overall I think it's a pretty good haul for my first Christmas down under. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go expose some of my paler nether regions on Bondi beach.