Now as anyone who knows me at all can attest, while I love to joke around, I am seriously offended by genuine stupidity and ignorance.
So you can only imagine my reaction last night when exposed to the most idiotic gay guy I have ever met in my entire life. And before anyone cries foul, the fact that he is gay is VERY relevant for two reasons - 1) there are a LOT of stupid gay people out there, and 2) it's bad enough to be as dumb as a box of hair, but it sounds even worse when accentuated by a ridiculously queeny southern English accent.
This is only partially based on the following conversation:
Someone else: There were a lot of Lebanese at the bar last night.
Gay English Idiot: What's that?
Someone else: What's what?
GEI: A Lebanese.
Me [complete with eye roll] : It's a person from Lebanon.
Several blissfully quiet minutes later...
GEI: So whereabouts is this 'Lebany'?
Me: What did you just say?
[everyone else in the room dying of laughter]
GEI: I don't get this silly joke.
Me: It's not a joke you fool, it's LEBANON and it's a COUNTRY. In the MIDDLE EAST.
Of course this night wasn't complete without this same idiot getting lost in the apartment even though the one he's staying in is EXACTLY THE SAME in layout, some doofus asking me if Jamaica was in Mexico, and both of these morons thinking I was from England after talking to me for over 10 minutes. Fortunately they left before I could seriously injure someone, and I'm still SO irritated right now and can't seem to do anything about it.
P.S. Maybe I should shut up, not quite as bad, but last week I was at trivia night and SWORE on my mother's grave that the three states bordering Louisiana were Alabama, Tennessee and Missouri. Sorry, mom.