Signs You Should Go Home (Even Though It's Not Even Midnight)

Met up with a small crew for happy hour after work last night, and it very quickly descended into mayhem. So to commemorate the first happy hour of 2005, I give you...Signs You Should Go Home (Even Though It's Not Even Midnight):

• After only three rounds of drinks, the bartender spots your propensity for true alcoholism...and offers you a free round of shots
• Dinner? What's that?
• One word: Karaoke. Although we have to thank Jessica for the most awesome rendition of Journey's "Separate Ways" that anyone has ever heard, evidenced by the standing ovation
• While spinning around on her stomach on a stool at the karaoke bar (Why? I wish I knew.), your friend topples over, knocks over several chairs, and needs the help of 3 waitstaff to get back on her feet
• At Bar #4, the aforementioned friend does a freak-ho dance in the middle of the bar. To "Time After Time" by Cyndi Lauper.
• And finally, a certain someone has a lengthy talk about oral sex with our cab driver which was heading towards the discussion of which races shave "down there" when the ride mercifully ended

Ah yes. It's good to be back.

P.S. Oh yeah, and Jess -- next time you're gonna call someone Chinese, maybe you should make sure they're actually ASIAN first. Christ.