Thursday, April 20, 2006

Sing Me A Song

Okay, while I have a minute I should really take some time to recap karaoke night on Tuesday. I unfortunately don't have pictures yet (as awesome as they are) but I can always post those later. Anyway, here was the program for my first karaoke night since August:

The Yin Yang Twins - "Wait (The Whisper Song)", performed by Zander and Emla

Not a clue how I let Emla talk me into this. It's clearly the most offensive song ever to hit #1 on the rap charts. What's even better is that I was off to a great start until I hit the second verse and realized just how vile the lyrics really are. Alas, I started laughing and was only able to sing the chorus for the remainder of the song. That would be repeating "beat the p***y up" over and over again, for those not familiar with this piece of trash. Way to set the tone for the evening.

Bill Withers - "Ain't No Sunshine", performed by my brother and Colin

This was the first of two songs dedicated to me (or rather, my absence) and I actually can't make too much fun because it was well done by these two karaoke kings.

New Kids On The Block - "Step By Step", performed by Zander and Jaya

I enlisted Jaya to sing this one with me because the last time I tried a year ago, she gave me shit about messing it up for weeks. Yeah, didn't go that much better this time. STEP ONE. Pick a song I actually know. Oh well.

U2 - "With Or Without You", performed by JoBo

Oh sweet jesus. The second song dedicated to me having the gall to live anywhere but New York, performed with mock earnestness by everyone's favorite reformed Jersey-ite. It may have remained within the limits of entertaining and amusing had he not ended the song yelling "AUSTRALIA SUCKS", "WHAT THE FUCK IS A WALLABY??" and "WHO THE HELL DRINKS FOSTERS ANYWAY???" repeatedly, which definitely ventured into the territory we define as absolutely fucking hilarious. Yet another song I will never be able to listen to again without picturing this man and laughing.

Journey - "Separate Ways", performed by Miss Jessica

Miss Jessica made a late appearance in the evening, and then more than made up for it by performing her signature karaoke song and as usual eliciting a standing ovation. Rock on.

Lindsay Lohan - "Rumors", performed by Emla and Zander

This was performed purely in honor of CStixx, who was unable to join us that night. Okay who am I kidding, we love this song. Too bad everyone else just stared at us because they had NO idea what it was. Doesn't mean Emla and I didn't get down to it though. The advantages of performing songs no one else knows is that they don't know how bad you are. Which reminds me that we also performed one by Kelly Osbourne. I bet those are off the list next time we stop in there...

Destiny's Child - "Bugaboo", performed by Joe the Circus Chimp

Joe, you are an idiot. Seriously, what were you thinking? You knew the words to EVERY OTHER SONG that people sang that night, and then you go and pick this random crap and completely mess it up. You spent about one minute at the end of the song shrieking about the lyrics on the screen being retarded. Believe me, something in that bar was retarded and it wasn't electronic. You moron.

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