This Is What I'm Being Paid For, Right?

So there's a link going around to some "Implicit Association Test" from Harvard or something like that. Point is, this is what you should be doing instead of working. And if I have the balls to do it in front of my entire team only days after beginning work, I don't want to hear any pansy ass excuses about "workloads" or "bosses", AIGHT?

They're a bit more serious than the nonsense you're going to find on Tickle.com or OKCupid, but that can only mean that they are to be taken in utter seriousness, and you are completely warranted to commit suicide if the responses are upsetting. Here are my results:

Black-White: I have a moderate automatic preference for white people. I blame this on America.

Young-Old: I have a slight automatic preference for young people compared to old. Um, you imagine grandma getting out of the shower and I dare you to disagree.

Fat-Thin: I have a moderate automatic preference for thin people. Shocking.

Gay-Straight: I have a moderate automatic preference for straight people compared to gay. So do most members of the gay community. With good reason.

Jews: I have a moderate automatic preference for other religions compared to Judaism. And really, can you blame me?

Arabs: I have a slight automatic preference for other people compared to Arabs. In my defense, however, I simply love their food.

Dubya: I have little to no automatic preference between George W. Bush and Recent Presidents, but let's consider the fact that they included Reagan in the other group. Take out the Republicans and my result would have been "Relatively speaking, your feelings about Recent Presidents are disturbingly sexual when compared to those about President Bush." But hey, I didn't make the tests.


So yeah, that's all I really got out of this. I'm a racist, ageist, fattist, homophobic anti-semite who doesn't exacly love Arabs and might vote Republican in an upcoming election. Now where'd I put that razor blade...