Monday, February 27, 2006

'That Guy'

Friday meant it was time to meet up with Team America plus The Flattie (formerly the flatmate) and her crew for after-work drinks at Ryan's Bar, a massive outdoor space with a big fountain in the middle. All well and good until a couple decided they should fall/jump (we're still not clear) into the fountain, only to be dragged away by security.

As the night continued I got progressively more intoxicated (funny how that happens), and eventually did what I've done a couple of times before -- decided that it would be a fantastic and responsible idea to take the bus home at 1am instead of a taxi. And so begins the tale of how I became 'that guy'.

So I stumbled onto the bus clutching my Indian chicken wrap, leading the bus driver to scold me for not finishing my food before I got on. That should have been embarrassing enough, but apparently I didn't agree.

I then sat down in the only remaining seat (probably elbowing the elderly and a pregnant woman out of the way), and somehow started talking to the people around me. This included an American girl sitting across from me, and it went a little something like this:

American girl:
Where in the states are you from?
Zander: New York.
American girl: Oh okay, I'm from New Jersey!
Zander: Sorry about that.
American girl: That's not nice.
Zander: Neither is New Jersey! 'The armpit of America', in case everyone else here was wondering.

I proceeded to rag on the Jerz as loudly and obnoxiously as I could for a good 5 minutes before it was time for me to get off the bus.

Zander: Oh this is my stop!
Random girl: Thank god.
Zander: Hey, take it back!
Random girl: No.

I should seriously just get 'WINNER" tattooed on my forehead.


Dorothy said...


n. jax said...

oh zander...what are we going to do with you...

Chris said...


alexisdom'sbitch said...

HAHA. Brilliant.
Why are New Yorkers so depressed?
Because the light at the end of the tunnel.... is New Jersey.

GOD I hate that damned state.