Here's Your Half-Assed Update

So it's Tuesday night here in New York and I realized that I've completely ignored my blogging responsibilities. Sadly, I don't think I could do the last few days of mayhem justice by blogging them, and I'm taking millions of pictures so I think a full recap will have to wait until I have my album online.

Having said that, here's my best shot at summarizing some of the nonsense that New York has been forced to endure since my arrival:

FRIDAY

My flight landed at 5.30pm and by 7.30 I was in a bar and getting started on the evening.

Bars visited: Ace Bar, Eastern Bloc, Mr. Black's

Highlights: Plenty of them, but my favourite was easily Phildo tripping at Mr. Black's and falling into the VIP area via the velvet rope. By the time he had ended up sprawled on the floor wrapped in the velvet rope, I had already turned away in shame, pretending not to know him. Absolutely shocking.

Bedtime: 3am (after a 24 hour flight, not quite sure what I was thinking)


SATURDAY

The night of Joe's wedding reception.

Bars visited: W Hotel Bar, Manhattan Penthouse (the reception), Madame X, Urge

Highlights: The entire wedding was a ridiculous mess, although on my part I have to say that I was more than a little chagrined when I busted out with my Indian accent, only to remember that I was at an Indian wedding reception. Oops.

Bedtime: 5.30am (??)


SUNDAY

Brunch at 2pm followed by having "a glass of wine" with Jaya, turning into drinking for 6 hours or so before the girls remembering they had to go to work in the morning.

Bars visited: Libation, Bar Veloce, Tribe

Highlights: Discussions of the feasibility of increasing drunkeness by pouring alcohol directly into your ass, me telling a girl I thought she was dressed up as a Thundercat (she wasn't), befriending the bartender at Tribe and getting most of our drinks free, Big Knockers buying a tub of ice cream and telling the bartender to "do something with this" (the kind of thing you can get away with when your nickname is "Big Knockers")

Bedtime: 2am


MONDAY

A supposedly quiet day that went all wrong when I decided it would be a good idea to grab drinks around 4pm with a friend who had the day off.

Bars visited: Sin Sin, Eastern Bloc

Highlights: Once again charming the bartender and getting a few free drinks, a certain friend giving a random girl a lapdance on her birthday, and then dropping his pants while dancing on the stripper pole

Bedtime: 2am


So yeah...now it's Tuesday, I can only assume the jet lag and the hangovers are cancelling each other out, and I want to have a quiet night but have just had a glass of wine at a friend's place and am late to meet another friend at a bar down the street. Wish me luck.

Oh, and some other stats for you...I've had about 7 slices of NY pizza and including my new phone and a wedding gift, I've spent a solid $1300 US in less than 5 days. Rock on, Zander. Will Sydney even want my impoverished black ass back next week?

Will see if I get a chance to update again before getting back to Sydney, but don't hold your breath. I have 3 happy hours and a wedding planned in the remaining 5 nights here. It simply can't end well.