Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Permanent Damage? Already?

I have to admit that I thought it would be a few more years before I would have to deal with the effects of alcohol abuse. However last night was a little scary. I headed over to a friend's place for dinner since they had graciously invited me over for a home cooked meal. As she slaved away over the stove, she said "Hey Zander, do you mind getting out the plates?" Not a problem, right? Five minutes later...

Friend: Zander. I asked you to do ONE THING.
Zander: What?! I got out the plates!
Friend: How many?
Zander: Three!
Friend: And how many people are in the room?
Zander: Oh.

And she was left to get the fourth plate out herself. All because I can no longer count. Damn you, beer!! (Sorry, I take that back...please forgive me)


Ben said...

Zander, here's a tip for the correct number of place settings. You can still count--it's imperative for drunks like us to know how many beers we'll need for an evening, and you know good and goddamn well how many beers are in a six-pack (or case...or keg).

In lieu of plates, pretend you're serving beer. Each person gets one. This will also help you calculate whether or not you need to make another run before you're completely schnockered.

Zander said...

See, you'd be amazed how often I screw even that up.

I vaguely remember one time where I took everyone's drink order, and headed off to the bar. Came back 2 minutes later with a bottle of wine and one glass for myself. My friends? Not happy.