Yesterday after work there was a company celebration. Can't remember why, probably something to do with me being almost out the door and not managing to run the company into the ground in over three years of disservice.
I wasn't originally in any rush to get there, and then while talking to movers on the phone at my desk, I repeated back the following information out loud: "Right. $500, 4 guys, 4 hours. Sounds good." Which of course prompted a coworker nearby to stand up and say "Hey dude, whatever floats your boat." and walk off without giving me a chance to explain. Fantastic. Someone pass me a Stoli and tonic before I hear the first rumors.
The event was scheduled to start at 6pm, so naturally I headed up to the bar at half past five to open the tab early. And needless to say, my mouth was running in no time.
Things I Said (Loudly) Before The Victim Had Finished Turning Away
"I don't like that woman."
"God, I bet even that guy's parents think he's a tool."
Things I Said To People's Faces
"You're like the Queen of [Company]!" -- to the flamboyantly gay editor-in-chief
"Well, you do kind of have a big ass." -- to a male coworker I have patently ignored for over a year, until last night
Ah, nothing like burning bridges.
Once I was finally refused service (the staff claims the open bar was closed, but I think that might only have applied to me) I took a sobering subway ride home so Emily and I could watch the latest episode of Footballers Wive$ on BBC America. And don't even think about rolling your eyes at us -- this is a show that contains an estimated 50 seconds of football in the entire first season, has a lead character named 'Chardonnay', and last night's episode ended with an old nurse being caught getting it on with a dude in a coma. Perfection, thou hast arrived.