Friday, July 29, 2005

Worst. Little Brother. Ever.

Well, I'm back from my Jamaican vacation. Spent all my time eating, sleeping, and swimming. Oh, and reading Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince -- I figure if J.K. Rowling is going to name her book after me, reading it is the least I can do.

All in all it was a very relaxing time. Unfortunately, there was one very disturbing aspect of my trip -- the fact that my 15 year old half brother is a freaking giant, and towers over me.

Things My "Little" Brother Should Not Be Able To Do:

  • Be taller than me
  • Have a deeper voice than I do
  • Have more facial hair than I do
  • Pick me up and toss me across the pool
  • Intimidate me
  • Lift up our father (who is 6'5" and well over 200 pounds, by the way) and hold him up in the air for 30 seconds


Of course this raises the most important question: Can he DRINK more than I can? My dad consistently stopped me from passing my bro more than a couple of beers in a night so I couldn't find out via the most obvious method, but my theory is that I still have a higher tolerance. My kind of drinking habit takes years of training and development, and I refuse to believe that my 15 year old brother would be able to stand the competition just because he could kick my ass 8 ways from Sunday without breaking a sweat if he wanted to.


Anyway, I'll hopefully have some pictures from the trip online in the next few days. I'd do it now, but a week of doing nothing makes me fat and even lazier than usual.

5 comments:

Drew said...

Since when does "Half-Blood Prince" equal "Half-Black Asshole"?

Kidding. :)

And no one should be as tall as your brother, period. I used to think that my 5'10" was average until I started reading about your mutant clan.

Joe said...

ah welcome tothe club..of freakishly large large little brothers...now we can share everything!...boyeeee!

n. jax said...

oh wow. he must be like really really tall. my condolences. I'm the tallest child in my family and I hold on to that like no other-middle children take what they can get. ;)

Zander said...

Drew - you're a racist.

Joe - we have NOTHING in common. NOTHING.

Nina - you're short, sorry.

Anonymous said...

still waiting patiently for pics!