Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Why I Look Like Hell Today

No, it's not because I was out drinking Friday and Saturday nights. It's not because I'm feeling ill. It's because last night I had one of the most traumatic experiences in recent memory, and I have yet to recover.

You will accuse me of being melodramatic. You will tell me to get over it. But YOU WERE NOT THERE.

Imagine, it's around 11 in the evening. You're getting comfy in bed, watching some TV before attempting to get a good night's sleep before you start another week. You've seen or spoken to all of your loved ones within the past 24 hours, and all is well with the world.

And then...something catches your eye. A quick shadow. Maybe from the TV? You glance towards the floor and something is definitely moving. Crawling. Towards your bed.

Granted, it is the summer, and you're in a big city. There's the god awful chance that it could be a water bug or something equally gross. You jump up and flip on the light, and then you realize...what could be worse than an over-sized roach crawling under your bed? How about a horrific somewhat transparent prehistoric-looking insect creature with WAY too many legs. What do YOU do?

Well, I'll tell you what I do. I yelp. Because I'm more horrified than an 8 year old who just found out he has a play date with Michael Jackson. And screaming would mean I wasn't nearly as scared as I truly was.

Some of you are like "dude, it was just a bug, chill out". NO, it was not just a bug. It looked exactly like THIS. I did manage to kill it eventually, but I am short a few hours of sleep right now. I am seeing insects everywhere. Ones that shouldn't exist.

And that is why I am in no state of mind to give you a real blog post today. Blame the bug.


emla said...

Z, thanks for not putting the actual picture of the bug on your blog or I wouldn't've been able to read Still Drunk until enough posts had gone up so that the bug was off screen. And, yeah, I have the shrimp-sized centipedes at my house, too. One crawled on my bed!!! SCARY!

Ben said...

That is the gayest shit I have ever heard in my life...and coming from me that's saying something.

Space Kitty said...

fucking CHRIST why did I click on that link? I'll be itching for the rest of the night!

n. jax said...

ha ha ha. That's kind of...wussy.

Zander said...

Yeah, yeah. Funny how everyone talking shit right now would be the first ones to curl into the fetal position if they saw some big ass thing like that right next to them.

ANYWAY...I've sprayed my room with half a can of Raid. Everytime I breathe I'm inhaling toxic vapors, but ironically that makes me feel safe.

Vicki said...

I totally sympathize with you. Whenever I would see a mouse in the house (happened quite a bit in college) I would literally shout “Eeek!” I think there might have been an actual cartoon bubble coming out of my mouth.