Headed to a bar after work the other day with some co-workers to have farewell drinks for a colleague. Once someone had pointed out who this person was (give me a break, I've only worked with her for 3 years) I made the mistake of making eye contact before ordering my first drink.
Co-worker: Aww Zander, thanks for coming!
Zander: Actually I'm just here for the free drinks.
Zander: No, no, I'm kidding. Sad to see you go.
Co-worker: Haha, you're so funny--
Zander: Sorry, I need to get a drink. Farewell.
Between that exchange and calling everyone I work with old (while reminding them that I am still in the prime of my youth, and asking how horrible it must feel to know that your life isn't really worth living anymore), I woke up the next morning feeling even more fortunate that I was recently accepted to business school. Always good to have that to fall back on when they fire me for being the biggest asshole ever.