Friday, August 17, 2012

Your New Best Friend

Juice is potentially looking at getting a flatmate at some point in the next month, and so he figured he would look through Gumtree (for the Americans, it's basically what's used in Australia instead of Craigslist) to see what sort of people were out there looking for a room.

This has resulted in a few pretty good laughs, but I thought I'd share my favorite with you:

Let's just take a moment, shall we?

"I am Bi, transexual, love to x. dress"

Are you by chance also a black lesbian midget amputee? Seriously, how many demographics are you trying to cover here? Also, would LOVE to meet the women you date, being bisexual and all.

"just want to be relaxed where i live"

So do I, buddy. Which is why I already know I would never want to live with you.

"Can afford anything"

Except you listed your price as a rather measly $150/week.

"even to set up a new residence with right person.. , not fat/old or a user"

That's charming. Basically you want them to accept your oddities, but you won't tolerate anyone who isn't young and slim. Even if you're referring to yourself, this information doesn't exactly paint you in the best light my friend

"genuine also. loive to live life to fullest,..and enjoy."

But that means no fat or old people, remember!

Also, in general, what the hell is up with the punctuation, the grammar, the capitalization? Or should I say the severe lack of all of those things. Infuriating. Would love to know what "good job" you claim to possess, because it clearly isn't anything that involves the written word.

In any case, I highly recommend Juice lets this one move in. For my amusement if nothing else.

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