Professional Asshole

You know things got a little out of hand when you accurately remember all the following things from your Friday night out with colleagues:

• Being the first person to buy a round of tequila shots - this is always terrible because everyone always remembers that as being the beginning of the end, and that it was your fault
• Ignoring my colleagues for an hour to chat to a random friend I told to meet me at the bar - maybe I was concerned I'd get bored with work people
• At karaoke, laying across the laps of several colleagues while belting out Aerosmith - not sure which part of that sentence I should feel worse about
• Apparently thrusting my crotch repeatedly in the face of the super Christian girl who was totally sober because she has never been drunk in her life - this is the stuff HR complaints are made of, people
• Saying goodbye to everyone at the end of the night and promptly walking off in the totally wrong direction for a solid few minutes - probably worth noting that I was literally a 5 minute walk from my front door

So, there's that. And really, I should be more concerned that when all of this was confirmed to me this morning, I was actually relieved that there wasn't anything even more horrific that I'd forgotten about.