Your New Best Friend

Juice is potentially looking at getting a flatmate at some point in the next month, and so he figured he would look through Gumtree (for the Americans, it's basically what's used in Australia instead of Craigslist) to see what sort of people were out there looking for a room.

This has resulted in a few pretty good laughs, but I thought I'd share my favorite with you:

Let's just take a moment, shall we?

"I am Bi, transexual, love to x. dress"

Are you by chance also a black lesbian midget amputee? Seriously, how many demographics are you trying to cover here? Also, would LOVE to meet the women you date, being bisexual and all.

"just want to be relaxed where i live"

So do I, buddy. Which is why I already know I would never want to live with you.

"Can afford anything"

Except you listed your price as a rather measly $150/week.

"even to set up a new residence with right person.. , not fat/old or a user"

That's charming. Basically you want them to accept your oddities, but you won't tolerate anyone who isn't young and slim. Even if you're referring to yourself, this information doesn't exactly paint you in the best light my friend

"genuine also. loive to live life to fullest,..and enjoy."

But that means no fat or old people, remember!


Also, in general, what the hell is up with the punctuation, the grammar, the capitalization? Or should I say the severe lack of all of those things. Infuriating. Would love to know what "good job" you claim to possess, because it clearly isn't anything that involves the written word.

In any case, I highly recommend Juice lets this one move in. For my amusement if nothing else.

Next Year, For Sure

Okay so that whole City2Surf thing didn't really work out. I suppose I should be happy I shaved 30 seconds off of last year's time (in particular considering my 'training'), however I still missed my target by 95 seconds and 2 days later I am still in extreme pain. Like, I make awful sounds every time I sit down, can't say my colleagues are loving it.

Also, didn't even get any decent photos out of it. As you can imagine, I probably won't be shelling out money to get the official version of this one:

I mean seriously, I look miserable. Like suicide may be an actual option at this point. Even better, the other photo they had for me was actually a photo of some random fat Asian guy who happened to have the same last 3 digits I did.

NEXT YEAR.

This Should Be Interesting

On Sunday I will be participating in the City2Surf (a 14km run from Sydney's centre out to Bondi Beach) for the third time. Last year I was pretty focused in my preparation, and my time was just over 72 minutes, and while it was an impressive time I set my sights on doing it in under 70 minutes this year.

And so, in order to prepare to push myself that much harder, here's how I've trained for City2Surf 2012:

• I've been running outside a total of 3 times in the last month
• I have strenuously avoided running or even walking up any kind of hills
• This was after spending 2 weeks eating my way through the US and Mexico
• I love beer

So yeah, this may actually be farcical. And yet, I am still fixated on 70 minutes. Will let you know how that goes.