tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-89253952024-03-13T18:23:13.528+11:00Am I Still Drunk?The life and times of a functional alcoholic. Or at least what I can remember.Zanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11318589344918416090noreply@blogger.comBlogger1044125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8925395.post-18635693250671356012013-05-21T17:50:00.003+10:002013-05-21T17:50:29.973+10:00Let's Call It A Night<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Well, kids, I think this is my final post. After yet another set of weeks where I forget to blog, I figure this thing has run it's course.<div>
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Makes sense, really. The blog started as a ridiculous way to chronicle my drunken adventures in my mid-20s. Now that I'm into my mid-30s, I'm at a point where waking up with a hangover is just kind of embarrassing...further evidence that no matter how old I get, I can be just as stupid as I ever was.</div>
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So, maybe another blog will come along, although even the word "blog" sounds so last decade at this point. If I ever get the feeling that you guys are dying to hear about my interior decorating plans or how my herb/vegetable garden is going, I may return.</div>
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Until then, thanks to the handful of people who still read this nonsense (or at least get automated updates via their RSS readers or something), it's been fun, and it may even serve as the basis for some shitty autobiography I write one day.</div>
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Cheers!</div>
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Zanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11318589344918416090noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8925395.post-13171259379832612992013-03-27T11:30:00.000+11:002013-04-02T11:42:58.436+11:00Common Cents<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Out of curiosity, I decided to download a recommended app to help track my spending. I'm not really a believer in budgets (I'm surprisingly sensible with my money, assuming you agree that having no credit card debt is basically the only requirement here), but figured it couldn't hurt to check where all my money is going.<br />
<br />
And so, excluding my mortgage and my monthly savings, here's where my disposable income has gone in the last two months:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGGDVmnFXmrlrBf5L9Ilpes05SfCt9X1DQiUFY7gUflsynYdKsMx0F09ItKKNgDGvXUS5B2yHEYfjPueUXMEyXSKxzfRNtccg0rngySrSHJntvg_UP6t0TXLhSA0FRTjom4t1Q6Q/s1600/Spending.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="381" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGGDVmnFXmrlrBf5L9Ilpes05SfCt9X1DQiUFY7gUflsynYdKsMx0F09ItKKNgDGvXUS5B2yHEYfjPueUXMEyXSKxzfRNtccg0rngySrSHJntvg_UP6t0TXLhSA0FRTjom4t1Q6Q/s400/Spending.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
I suppose this shouldn't be much of a surprise from someone whose blog is about how he used to get blindingly drunk on a regular basis, but apparently even now almost a third of my disposable income goes simply to 'Drinks'. Factor in the possibility that a lot of what has been labeled 'Dinner' and 'Lunch' is probably booze, and it's almost enough to make me want to take some time off drinking. Almost.<br />
<br />
I nearly felt better about being able to dismiss the Accountant and Gift amounts since those wouldn't normally appear, and then realized that it would mean I had spent an even larger percentage of my income on booze in the same time period. At some point, it just gets embarrassing.<br />
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Not sure tracking my expenses has really made me rethink the way I spend my money, but at least we can all have a good laugh at what a moron I am, amirite??</div>
Zanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11318589344918416090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8925395.post-50152395471564605592013-02-28T14:51:00.000+11:002013-03-19T14:56:29.767+11:00Unbearable<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Lately, Hickster and I have been debating whether it is preferable to hide someone annoying on your Facebook feed or to simply delete them.<br />
<br />
On one hand, hiding them is almost a cowardly and passive-aggressive way of dealing with someone in your life (or at least your online life) that you don't really like but don't want to upset.<br />
<br />
Having said that, deleting someone seems pretty harsh (and possible to stir up awkward moments or tension in real life) when you can just pretend they don't exist by hiding them.<br />
<br />
Well, today, someone I'm friends with on Facebook posted the lyrics of an entire song ("Halo" by Beyonce) into his Facebook status and dedicated it to their relatively new boyfriend. Even more irritating were the people who commented to say that it was sweet. I was tempted to comment and point out that it's usually the people who post such drivel publicly that end up having the most humiliating breakups months later, but I refrained.<br />
<br />
I hid him, and the decision process was very clear. I don't want to see his Facebook updates, but I definitely want to be invited to any cool parties he throws in the near future.</div>
Zanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11318589344918416090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8925395.post-16681270370611936652013-02-16T15:13:00.000+11:002013-02-21T15:30:39.534+11:00Speechless, For Once<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Coming from a rather progressive and international family, I'm often just amused at stories from friends about crazy conservative relations who spew all sorts of intolerant crap at family get togethers. I've always wondered what it's like to have to deal with people like that despite the fact that you are poles apart on almost any issue of the day.<br />
<br />
Well, I wonder no longer. For the last few years I've been catching up occasionally with a family friend here in Sydney. Keep in mind that she used to be as progressive and international as my family, however in her later years has turned into a raging conservative who is appalled to anything resembling change.<br />
<br />
We recently caught up for a meal, and the <strike>highlights</strike> low lights of the conversation from her end included:<br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>Indian men are arrogant (based on conversations with at least two of them, apparently)</li>
<li>Town Hall shouldn't have a rainbow flag over it to acknowledge Gay & Lesbian Mardi Gras (one of the events Sydney is most known for globally) because it's not "a real flag"</li>
<li>It is completely fair to generalize that Islam is a violent religion and Muslims are all extremists based on the actions of a few (in defense of globally reviled Dutch racist Geert Wilders)</li>
</ul>
<br />
<br />
We debated all of these things, and I tried to find a halfway point acknowledging that maybe some people from each culture may be a certain way, but to characterize them all that way is unfair and rather ridiculous. She didn't necessarily agree.<br />
<br />
In any case, she's only getting older and more scared of the changing world, so if nothing else I will probably keep getting together with her once in a while in order to bring you the worst of her offensive rants. At the very least we can try to remember that apparently right wing rage can happen to anyone.</div>
Zanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11318589344918416090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8925395.post-59128987656192252552013-02-12T11:53:00.000+11:002013-02-20T16:08:43.634+11:00Trial and Error<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
For the last week I have been dog sitting for my friends who have gone overseas (and had a surprise wedding in Hong Kong, but that's besides the point) as a bit of a trial. Even though I'm relatively sure I don't want to get a dog anytime soon, I occasionally wonder if I should. "Maybe it's not that hard" I've thought. "Maybe it's hard work but it's worth it!"<br />
<br />
Uh, no.<br />
<br />
In one week these dogs have used my balcony (and one time my livingroom carpet) as their personal toilet, they've chewed on anything they can get their teeth on (what is up with the shoe obsession??), and I came home yesterday to find they had gotten into one of the potted plants in order to chuck half the soil onto the balcony floor and tear off a few palm leaves. Fantastic.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlrl9kbeLiSqgdKcRwGjaWtFt5lXCK2duaWvWtds7v303HQcnXc_J9ZtTuHD70QXdhWKEpOZ-kM-44KL9vHJJyYl-jfWt4U58k8iae4B3AWw5qzYx3J1uKCeEA-Wmfkh4h_TNZ0w/s1600/539571_10152566143010584_552456398_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlrl9kbeLiSqgdKcRwGjaWtFt5lXCK2duaWvWtds7v303HQcnXc_J9ZtTuHD70QXdhWKEpOZ-kM-44KL9vHJJyYl-jfWt4U58k8iae4B3AWw5qzYx3J1uKCeEA-Wmfkh4h_TNZ0w/s320/539571_10152566143010584_552456398_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Don't get me wrong, these guys are <i>adorable </i>(see<i> </i>photo) which is pretty much the only reason they're still alive, and makes me wonder how so many ugly dogs have managed to survive in society for so long.<br />
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More importantly, I'm perplexed at the thought that anyone with a social life would get a dog.<i> </i>If I was a loser without much to do on nights and weekends (see also: being old) then I would totally get one. Not like I'd have anything better to do. But WHY would people in their twenties or thirties who don't have children yet even bother? It's hard work, and let's face it, these guys are not gonna get much smarter.<br />
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In any case, the dogs are gone, my apartment is almost clean again, and I think it's well established that I may have to wait until retirement (or until I get fat and all my friends disown me, probably another three years) before I get a dog of my own. The only other way I'm getting a dog is if I win the lottery and can afford to fly Cesar Milan down to train them for me. I won't rule that out.</div>
Zanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11318589344918416090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8925395.post-82870791295130743882013-02-05T15:43:00.000+11:002013-02-20T16:08:59.795+11:00Funeral Festivities<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
At the risk of sounding morbid, I have often thought what I'd want my funeral to be like. And things get outta hand pretty quickly. Maybe this is because I've never actually been to a funeral of any sort in my lifetime, but I don't see any reason they can't be something of a lighthearted occasion.<br />
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My top two funeral concepts at the moment are:<br />
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<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>Starts out rather normally, but the drinks are quite strong and the food is pretty light. As people get more intoxicated, the music picks up, the lights dim, and before you know it, everyone's dancing. Next thing anyone realizes, there's glitter falling from the ceiling...except no one knows that my ashes are actually mixed in with the glitter. Everyone goes home taking a piece of me with them to their corner of the world. </li>
</ul>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>Just as everyone sits down to begin a reading or prayer or something equally boring, my coffin pops open and whatever contraption is necessary makes my corpse pop up while ridiculous haunted house-style screaming noises play in the background. My face would be posed to look totally shocked and positioned to be staring at the audience. Hilarity ensues. Everyone goes home all laughed out, thinking "Sigh, that was just <i>classic Zander.</i>"</li>
</ul>
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<br />
These are just the top two ideas<i> right now</i>, other suggestions are welcome!</div>
Zanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11318589344918416090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8925395.post-80975581233105917532013-01-31T16:08:00.003+11:002013-02-20T16:09:50.891+11:00Around the World in 30 Years<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
At least once a year I tend to look at my 'travel map' to see where I've been and look for inspiration on where to go next. I was avoiding work this afternoon and took another crack at it:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRzy7v-WOlrOeZ3ta_ZF7SbK3jjEYkl2j_pQsBrr0nRG3JtQjQ1rWY3uclZW6UG1NqgiRqLITXW1XPiE3Gvg8-eTDTKrWlujEG4-C131WzgZBhIhKu8kvx8zAOW8TXOAGLL-P2WQ/s1600/Travel_Map_Jan2013.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="315" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRzy7v-WOlrOeZ3ta_ZF7SbK3jjEYkl2j_pQsBrr0nRG3JtQjQ1rWY3uclZW6UG1NqgiRqLITXW1XPiE3Gvg8-eTDTKrWlujEG4-C131WzgZBhIhKu8kvx8zAOW8TXOAGLL-P2WQ/s400/Travel_Map_Jan2013.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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It actually hasn't changed too much in the last year, partially because of all my horrible, selfish friends who got married in the US last year, forcing me to make three separate trips over there. As a result, the only new country I got to visit was Mexico, which was awesome but as an American doesn't feel particularly exotic.<br />
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My next trip this year is going to be 12 days or so traveling around Japan, followed by a week in the Philippines laying around on island beaches and a couple of nights in Manila visiting friends. If my travel map is to be believed, that will bring the number of countries I've visited to 30.<br />
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Unfortunately, I'm reaching a point where I've visited almost all the places that I've desperately wanted to see, and now I'm hitting up place that just sound kinda cool or nice based on what I've heard recently. As you can see from my map, I still have to visit Africa (amazing how expensive it can be to visit a continent full of poverty-stricken people) and I haven't yet touched the Middle East, which will definitely be added to the agenda once everyone stops blowing shit up over there.<br />
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I suppose I'm curious about Iceland and even Greenland because every time I look it up on a map all I can think is 'WTF?' After that, maybe I will settle into a routine of using all my time off to visit family and friends in NYC and Europe, with the occasional week at a villa in Bali (don't worry, I'm tempted to punch <i>myself</i> in the face after typing that sentence out) but it does feel just a little like my obsession with travel that I had when I was younger is fading just a little. Which is probably for the best, because I am old and have a mortgage and oh my god I'm going to stop right now before I decide to kill myself or decide to at least write a letter of apology to my younger self who I'm sure had much higher hopes for us.</div>
Zanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11318589344918416090noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8925395.post-19671127834124098842013-01-24T13:49:00.001+11:002013-01-24T13:49:15.083+11:00If The Shoe Fits, You're Fired<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
My latest obsession at work is judging people by their shoes. Because it's amazing what you can tell about someone by what they choose to place on their feet.<br />
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There are the people who wear sneakers or thongs/flip flops around the office. These tend to be people who have a role they're very comfortable in and don't see any real desire for advancement. (This also applies to people who get face tattoos.) Don't even get me started on Crocs, but I have seen them in the office and had to assume that these were people who aren't familiar with the internet, where such footwear is mocked widely.<br />
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Of course you always have the ladies who wear crazy heels in an effort to be fashion forward, but unfortunately just look like strippers. That's okay, they'll probably marry well. Or at least blackmail some married guy to find their way to success.<br />
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Possibly the most frustrating are the guys who wear shoes that are appropriate for work...if you work in 1998. I mean seriously, where are they even able to <i>buy </i>those things?? They're never getting promoted.<br />
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But easily, the most rage-inspiring "shoes" I've seen on someone are <i>open-heeled dress shoes on a man</i>.Haha, I bet that didn't even make sense to you when you read it. Yes, I said dress shoes on a man that are open-heeled. Sort of like this:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPfkoaUeN9jjuWFRnFpCADpj1Jf-blWdbxHHx8w-BBXj88DXtSB_ZIKnLf_20hF4OOpNxdyNG2pjejHN-xxqDcxGyb3ki_mHnj4czOsYVm_QZwtftXa4SQGBHNwfQlPSLUYHMYGA/s1600/PG.60180696.JJ7DKXX.PZ.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPfkoaUeN9jjuWFRnFpCADpj1Jf-blWdbxHHx8w-BBXj88DXtSB_ZIKnLf_20hF4OOpNxdyNG2pjejHN-xxqDcxGyb3ki_mHnj4czOsYVm_QZwtftXa4SQGBHNwfQlPSLUYHMYGA/s320/PG.60180696.JJ7DKXX.PZ.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
I told you. I think these were created to test my character as a human being. And it has failed that test, because I will never ever forgive the man I saw wearing these a few weeks ago. It's like business up front and party in the back - an actual shoe mullet. You asshole. What on earth were you thinking??<br />
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While I think it should be standard practice to fire someone on the spot for such a travesty, Australia isn't quite as loose as the US when it comes to being able to fire people for absolutely anything you can think of, so I will just have to settle for the fact that the man wearing said shoes is a contractor and probably won't get renewed when the time comes. Thank god.</div>
Zanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11318589344918416090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8925395.post-67915512202597198022013-01-21T13:23:00.000+11:002013-01-24T13:36:27.678+11:00A Blogger's Existential Crisis<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Wow, almost 2 months without one blog post. That's pretty pathetic, I know. And this time, it feels different. I actually had plenty of time in the last few weeks to log on and write something inane, but I just didn't feel like it.<br />
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Hickster asked me about my blogging earlier today and that's what prodded me to take a closer look. I mean the rather obvious reason for my lack of motivation is that I simply don't drink that much anymore. And while it used to be hilarious to have a blog that was inspired and fueled by things like waking up wearing makeup and a bleeding arm without any recollection of the night before (thanks for that, 2004), at a grand old age of 33 even a mild hangover just seems sort of embarrassing and a reason to re-evaluate my life.<br />
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It doesn't help that I seem to be filling my life with activities that are inherently boring and would make most people contemplate ending it all if they felt like they had to read about them on a regular basis. Do you care about my herb and vegetable garden? Funny, not sure I do either. Perhaps a day by day recap of which tiles I'm thinking about for the new bathrooms? Didn't think so. And while I do frequent a large number of restaurants, I'm personally pretty sure that food bloggers are destined to occupy a very special place in Hell, having to ensure some very special terror for each time that they described the flavors of a dish as 'melodious'.<br />
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Hickster suggested that I rename the blog "Am I Getting Old?", but from the paragraph above I think we already know the answer is yes. So whatever - I will maybe blog a little more, maybe I won't, and my dwindling readership may just have to enjoy having more time to read updates from someone who isn't giving up on life. Haha? Sigh.</div>
Zanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11318589344918416090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8925395.post-44571017480136204732012-11-20T16:41:00.000+11:002012-11-27T16:43:45.770+11:00Aw, I Missed You<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Mickey is visiting Sydney and staying with me for a few days. After arriving on Saturday morning, he wasted no time with anything pathetic like sleeping after a 24 hour journey. No, we had a few drinks, went to dinner, a couple of bars, and around 4am I found myself picking him up off the bathroom floor and helping him find his bed. At least he was fully clothed. Although that somehow makes the whole thing even weirder, if you ask me.<br />
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Sunday was another session, and I may have had to work from home on Monday. In any case, I'm almost feeling human again today. And I think that may mean it's time to head off and meet Mickey for margaritas. Shut up, liver.</div>
Zanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11318589344918416090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8925395.post-31892209252430442362012-11-17T16:39:00.000+11:002012-11-27T16:41:13.038+11:00You Know You Were In Vegas Recently When...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
...you wake up on a Saturday morning at home after a 7 hour drinking session with friends that included shots of tequila, and you feel fresh as a daisy.<br />
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Seriously, I should *not* feel okay right now. And yet, I'm ready to do it all over again. Let's go.</div>
Zanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11318589344918416090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8925395.post-64132582494834104122012-10-17T08:47:00.000+11:002012-10-20T08:50:59.824+11:00It's All Relative<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Just when I was feeling a bit embarrassed about my now only occasional but still juvenile inability to pace myself while drinking, Juice comes back with stories that make me feel so much better.<br />
<br />
See, Juice apparently works for a company that hires only serious drinkers and borderline alcoholics. So on Friday night, after a particularly heavy session, one of his female colleagues ended up vomiting all over the train while on her way home from the bar.<br />
<br />
Not to be beaten, a male colleague eventually ended up in the hospital and on a drip after too many tequila shots.<br />
<br />
Ah, schadenfreude. You're always there to prop up my dignity in times of need.</div>
Zanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11318589344918416090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8925395.post-87892971953371339232012-10-16T14:30:00.002+11:002012-10-16T14:30:59.297+11:00Party Like It's 2006: Sunday Session<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
As I've probably documented on this blog, Australians are firm believers in "the Sunday Session" - getting together in the afternoon on a Sunday to start drinking with no end in sight, everyone pretending every step of the way that none of us actually have to do anything productive the following day.<br />
<br />
So after a long 5-course lunch in the sun, CJ and I wandered over to the pub to have "just one or two more" before calling it a day.<br />
<br />
Alas, I have no recollection of the last two hours of the afternoon, despite being home by 8pm. And so, after two Sundays in a row that probably didn't need to involve quite so much alcohol, I've decided I should possibly avoid returning to the glory days of 2006 where Sunday Sessions were a permanent fixture of my social calendar. Because, hell, I am way too old for this shit.</div>
Zanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11318589344918416090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8925395.post-72610481786627839272012-10-13T14:23:00.000+11:002012-10-16T14:27:47.494+11:00So, This Conversation Happened<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
The scene: Opera Bar. Well before my friends have arrived, and after a hideous but ultimately successful week in the office.<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>Zander</b>: Hi there. Can I please get a bottle of the Pinot Gris?<br />
<br />
<b>Bartender</b>: No worries. How many glasses?<br />
<br />
<b>Zander</b>: Just one is fine, thanks.<br />
<br />
<b>Bartender</b>: <gives a="a" funny="funny" look="look" me="me"></gives><br />
<br />
<b>Zander</b>: It's been a rough week. Don't judge.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
And so we had a quick but hearty laugh, and then I settled down at a table outside overlooking the harbour and enjoyed my little reward to myself. Alone. AND I'M OKAY WITH THAT.<br />
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Zanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11318589344918416090noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8925395.post-55007481434335618272012-10-08T14:31:00.000+11:002012-10-16T14:35:22.076+11:00Daylight Savings BBQ/Dance Party<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
We've finally reached that time of year in Sydney where not only is it warming up, but the sun is out until 7pm. And so, I felt it necessary to celebrate the arrival of daylight savings with a small BBQ.<br />
<br />That may have turned into a boozefest/dance party. On a Sunday evening.<br />
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I love my life. Unfortunately, I don't love my hangover quite so much.</div>
Zanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11318589344918416090noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8925395.post-30056482024091893162012-09-26T15:22:00.000+10:002012-09-28T16:25:11.387+10:00You Will Forgive Me<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
So, I've apparently ignored my blog for most of September. Didn't even realize that had happened.<br />
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But to make it up to you, I have another installment of Ali B, crazy Facebook chick who loves sharing the details of her personal life with a guy she briefly worked with almost a decade ago. (Me.)<br />
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In any case, my very first blog post about her was titled <a href="http://stilldrunk.blogspot.com.au/2011/06/why-youre-single.html" target="_blank">"Why You're Single"</a>, mostly because half of her updated were about the fact that she didn't have a boyfriend. Well, guess what? SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND.<br />
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Now of course, I only determined this by sifting through the subtlest of hints in her Facebook status updates:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRjDp_c-6gbZeNLALPPxWR3kQLtyWQ7581EBIpo8aQEB2eDuEI9Yfm48_Cwj7Xut4LEjbHaWQNjVO9iAThAY7agTkumf6_pqPEjZRzW1KjUwveo7dGbJdyB6OW44Z4BVW-PW-pZQ/s1600/boyfriend9.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="90" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRjDp_c-6gbZeNLALPPxWR3kQLtyWQ7581EBIpo8aQEB2eDuEI9Yfm48_Cwj7Xut4LEjbHaWQNjVO9iAThAY7agTkumf6_pqPEjZRzW1KjUwveo7dGbJdyB6OW44Z4BVW-PW-pZQ/s320/boyfriend9.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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I know what you're thinking. "But Zander, she's barely insinuated ANYTHING about being in a relationship, I think you're jumping to conclusions." But you know what? I know her better than you do, so you're just going to have to trust me on this one.<br />
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In any case, it's great that she's found someone. If they've really been together for a whole month, maybe she'll start thinking about the usual next step in a relationship, like going on a vacation together, or maybe even introducing him to her friends, or perhaps...<br />
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DEAR GOD WOMAN. Seriously??<br />
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Anyway it may not matter, as a few days ago there was this:<br />
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And I figure it's not looking great when you're celebrating the dysfunction in your relationship when you've been together for less than 6 months. And finally, there was this:<br />
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For those who aren't familiar with passive-aggressive Facebooking, this generally tends to indicate that there's been a breakup. So we can go back to status updates like this one:<br />
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Oh, honey. That's more like it.<br />
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Zanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11318589344918416090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8925395.post-45682114806287325742012-09-06T13:34:00.000+10:002012-09-28T15:12:13.939+10:0015 Ways To Look Like An Idiot<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Earlier this week someone posted a link to an article with the tantalizing (and inherently ridiculous) headline of "<a href="http://www.news.com.au/business/worklife/ways-rich-people-think-differently/story-e6frfm9r-1226464697808" target="_blank">15 ways rich people think differently</a>" by some fool named Sarah O'Carroll who apparently interviewed an even bigger fool named Steve Siebold who wrote a book called <i>How Rich People Think</i>. Granted, this article was from news.com.au, which is probably the least likely place on the web to get anything resembling real insight. But I'm a sucker for a stupid headline and wanted to see if the contents could possibly be as dumb as expected.<br />
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Ladies and gentlemen, I was nothing short of blown away that someone would actually write this and then post it on the internet with their actual name attached to it. (Better yet, it's apparently based on a book that someone wrote about this topic, dear lord.) Let's take a moment, shall we?</div>
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<strong><i>THE rich think differently to the rest of us.</i></strong></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">True. They think "I'm rich!" while the rest of us do not have that luxury. That's really where this piece should have ended.</span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;">You need look no further than mining magnate Gina Rinehart with her </span><a href="http://www.news.com.au/business/worklife/gina-rinehart-tells-whingers-get-out-of-the-pub/story-e6frfm9r-1226461328341" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;" target="_blank">“get out of the pub”</a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;"> comments or billionaire Clive Palmer’s </span><a href="http://www.news.com.au/travel/news/drawings-released-of-clive-palmers-titanic-ii/story-e6frfq80-1226427924480" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;" target="_blank">plans to build Titanic II</a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;"> to see that.</span></i><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Just for some context, Gina Rinehart is one of the world's richest women - because she inherited a fortune from her father. But that apparently gives her the right to berate the vast majority of people who weren't handed insane sums of money.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">And Clive Palmer is someone who would rather use his money to build another Titanic (because the first time went so well?) instead of, oh I don't know, funding education programs or feeding starving people in countries no food. In short, he is an asshole.</span></div>
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<i><strong style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;">1. Rich people think selfishness is a virtue</strong><br style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;" /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;">Average people feel they need to save the world and put others before themselves which is keeping them poor. Rich people take the attitude that if they don’t help themselves first they can’t help anyone else.</span></i></div>
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I'm pretty sure most of us know more than a few selfish assholes who are not rich. Just a hunch.<br />
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<i><strong style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;">2. Rich people have an action mentality</strong><br style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;" /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;">You wouldn’t see a rich person lining up to play the lottery (even before they were rich). Average people are always waiting on someone else to help them get rich - the Lotto, Government, friend or spouse – but it only keeps them poor. Rich people take action and spend time solving problems.</span></i></div>
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A very basic Google search would actually show that a lot of millionaires play (and win) the lottery. Also, I will comment on stupid generalizations at the end of this hot mess, but love the use of "always" to describe how "average people" wait on someone else to help them get rich. Also, the equating of average people with poor people, because that is apparently the same thing? (Let's not even get into the number of rich people who haven't solved a problem in their lives. I'm looking at you, Kardashians.)<br />
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<i><strong style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;">3. Rich people favour specific knowledge over formal education</strong><br style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;" /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;">Average people believe the road to riches is through doing masters and doctorates. Rich people are generally rich because they have made money selling a specific knowledge they have acquired. </span></i><br />
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Did you decide to actually educate yourself? You fool! Loving the implication that people only pursue education in order to acquire wealth, because what other reason could there ever be to learn anything, right?<br />
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<i><strong style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;">4. Rich people dream of the future</strong><br style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;" /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;">Rich people spend a lot of time looking into the future, setting goals and looking forward to what lies ahead. Average people dwell on the past which often holds them back by making them unhappy or depressed.</span></i><br />
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Yeah cause all you AVERAGE PEOPLE are like that dude from <i>Memento</i>. Obviously.<br />
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<i><strong style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;">5. Rich people think about money logically</strong><br style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;" /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;">Average and well-educated people can fall into the trap of thinking about money emotionally and just wanting to retire comfortably. Rich people maintain a logical relationship with money viewing it as a tool that represents options and opportunities.</span></i><br />
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Now this is interesting - the explicit equating of average and well-educated. Something tells me the guy responsible for these idiotic points is desperate to validate the fact that the extent of his formal education was being home schooled by his creepy uncle.</div>
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Also, everyone who just wants to retire comfortably instead of acquiring massive amounts of wealth to the detriment of your entire society? IT'S A TRAP.<br />
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<i><strong style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;">6. Rich people follow their passion</strong><br style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;" /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;">Oprah Winfrey said it – you’ve got to follow your passion and do what you love. Rich people find a way of getting paid for doing something they love. Average people earn money doing things they don’t love.</span></i><br />
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Ha, I bet you thought you rather liked, maybe even loved your job until you read that, right? SUCKER. Not possible. Unless you're rich. Apparently.<br />
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<i><strong style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;">7. Rich people aim high</strong><br style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;" /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;">Average people set low expectations to avoid disappointment whereas rich people set huge expectations and follow their dreams.</span></i><br />
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I guess we're not mentioning all the people who set huge expectations and follow their dreams into failure and oblivion. That's cool. I'll just move along. Nothing to see here.<br />
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<i><strong style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;">8. Rich people believe you have to “be” someone</strong><br style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;" /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;">Average people on the other hand believe you have to “do” something to be rich and focus on immediate results. Rich people continuously focus on bettering themselves and learn from success and failures.</span></i><br />
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Man, I knew I shouldn't do anything. I just need to better myself. But not through education. That would make me average. I think? What's happening?<br />
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<i><strong style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;">9. Rich people use other people’s money</strong><br style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;" /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;">Average people believe they need their own money to make money whereas rich people have no problem using other people’s.</span></i><br />
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What does this even mean? Are we at least admitting that most rich people have access to resources that the vast majority of people never will? Or are we basically just recommending that people steal shit from others, a la Bernie Madoff? Because if that's what it said it would actually be THE MOST LOGICAL PART OF THIS ENTIRE LIST.<br />
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<i><strong style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;">10. Rich people live below their means</strong><br style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;" /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;">It seems contradictory to the above statement but rich people adopt the attitude of getting rich so you can afford to live below your means. Average people live beyond their means.</span></i><br />
<br />
How does that seem contradictory? It's a lot easier to live below your means when living just within your means would require buying several small nation-states. Also, there are apparently no average people whatsoever who know how to manage their finances. Good to know.<br />
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<i><strong style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;">11. Rich people teach their children how to be rich</strong><br style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;" /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;">Average people teach their children how to survive whereas rich people teach their children from an early age about the world of haves and have nots. </span></i><br />
<br />
"Hey, Jimmy? See all this wealth I've accumulated and will give to you despite you have done absolutely nothing to earn it? Here. Now you're rich. I'm such a good parent!"<br />
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<i><strong style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;">12. Rich people don’t let money stress them out</strong><br style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;" /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;">Average people do. Rich people find peace of mind in wealth and are not afraid to admit that money can solve most problems – allowing them to make more money. Average people see money as a continuous battle and necessary evil they have to endure.</span></i><br />
<br />
I love this one. Because rich people are never stressed about money. I mean, the global financial crisis in late 2008 alone would prove entirely otherwise, but maybe if we just block that out of our memory people will think you have a clue what you're talking about.<br />
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<i><strong style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;">13. Rich people would rather be educated than entertained</strong><br style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;" /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;">Average people are the opposite. They read novels, tabloids and entertainment rather than continuously educating themselves after school.</span></i><br />
<br />
Yeah, damn all those average people paying $20 million and up to do things like fly into space for a few days at a time. Or am I reading that wrong? Maybe <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Space_tourism#List_of_flown_space_tourists" target="_blank">it is rich people who pay for that sort of entertainment</a> (to the point that a list of space tourists actually needs to list the participants "source of wealth"), but they'd RATHER be continuously educating themselves after school. Got it. My bad.<br />
<br style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;" />
<i><strong style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;">14. Rich people surround themselves with like-minded people</strong><br style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;" /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;">Average people think rich people are snobs and have a negative attitude towards the super rich. Rich people steer clear of the doom and gloom attitudes and people – adding fuel to the fire of the “snob” label.</span></i><br />
<br />
Actually most of the biggest snobs I know are people who can't pay off their credit card bills, but let's not let the personal experience of everyone ever get in the way of yet another broad generalization.<br />
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<i><strong style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;">15. Rich people focus on earning</strong><br style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;" /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;">Average people focus on saving and miss big opportunities by trying to live frugally. Rich people constantly focus on the big picture – and how to earn the big bucks.</span></i></div>
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<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">You average idiots, saving and living frugally. But wait, I thought point 10 said that you're living beyond your means? Huh? Does not compute. Maybe this is why the list ends here. Because the author's brain exploded under the weight of all these contradictory and nonsensical statements.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">But in the end, it's just amazing that someone could even pretend to believe these stupid statements about how all this type of people are like A and how all this other type of people are like B. You know where you're most likely to see theories like this? Racist websites. "BLACK PEOPLE ARE LAZY AND ASIANS ARE GOOD AT MATH." That is the intellectual level we're dealing with here.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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Of course one more point could have been added that would have been entirely accurate. People who are not rich and never will be rich buy books about how rich people think. And the guy who originally spewed all of this crap may well end up being wealthy because of them. Funny how that works.</div>
</div>
Zanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11318589344918416090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8925395.post-62983320387783287542012-09-03T10:40:00.000+10:002012-09-03T10:40:11.878+10:00Professional Asshole<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
You know things got a little out of hand when you accurately remember all the following things from your Friday night out with colleagues:<br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>Being the first person to buy a round of tequila shots - this is always terrible because everyone always remembers that as being the beginning of the end, and that it was your fault</li>
<li>Ignoring my colleagues for an hour to chat to a random friend I told to meet me at the bar - maybe I was concerned I'd get bored with work people</li>
<li>At karaoke, laying across the laps of several colleagues while belting out Aerosmith - not sure which part of that sentence I should feel worse about</li>
<li>Apparently thrusting my crotch repeatedly in the face of the super Christian girl who was totally sober because she has never been drunk in her life - this is the stuff HR complaints are made of, people</li>
<li>Saying goodbye to everyone at the end of the night and promptly walking off in the totally wrong direction for a solid few minutes - probably worth noting that I was literally a 5 minute walk from my front door</li>
</ul>
<br />
<br />
So, there's that. And really, I should be more concerned that when all of this was confirmed to me this morning, I was actually <i>relieved </i>that there wasn't anything <i>even more</i> horrific that I'd forgotten about.</div>
Zanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11318589344918416090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8925395.post-83510393196090800612012-08-17T14:44:00.002+10:002012-08-17T14:48:08.621+10:00Your New Best Friend<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Juice is potentially looking at getting a flatmate at some point in the next month, and so he figured he would look through Gumtree (for the Americans, it's basically what's used in Australia instead of Craigslist) to see what sort of people were out there looking for a room.<br />
<br />
This has resulted in a few pretty good laughs, but I thought I'd share <a href="http://www.gumtree.com.au/s-ad/sydney-city/other-shared-accommodation/gay-friendly-/1005087057" target="_blank">my favorite</a> with you:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7hqkXt4VBYCHvcTPToRIhMlf0D1JBUrgD_FvpkK_RQ1Dj7fyYlWWbILF0I8Zq5d3RJMqUzlM3UYBJ5gSGpif2AbqLqDTzKj7uHkMw27lz5_kvqPhWFzsoKDvnE7CPgzifN7uabw/s1600/Roommate.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="356" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7hqkXt4VBYCHvcTPToRIhMlf0D1JBUrgD_FvpkK_RQ1Dj7fyYlWWbILF0I8Zq5d3RJMqUzlM3UYBJ5gSGpif2AbqLqDTzKj7uHkMw27lz5_kvqPhWFzsoKDvnE7CPgzifN7uabw/s400/Roommate.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<br />
Let's just take a moment, shall we?<br />
<br />
<i>"I am Bi, transexual, love to x. dress"</i><br />
<br />
Are you by chance also a black lesbian midget amputee? Seriously, how many demographics are you trying to cover here? Also, would LOVE to meet the women you date, being bisexual and all.<br />
<br />
<i>"just want to be relaxed where i live"</i><br />
<br />
So do I, buddy. Which is why I already know I would never want to live with you.<br />
<br />
<i>"Can afford anything"</i><br />
<br />
Except you listed your price as a rather measly $150/week.<br />
<br />
<i>"even to set up a new residence with right person.. , not fat/old or a user"</i><br />
<br />
That's charming. Basically you want them to accept your oddities, but you won't tolerate anyone who isn't young and slim. Even if you're referring to yourself, this information doesn't exactly paint you in the best light my friend<br />
<br />
<i>"genuine also. loive to live life to fullest,..and enjoy."</i><br />
<br />
But that means no fat or old people, remember!<br />
<br />
<br />
Also, in general, what the hell is up with the punctuation, the grammar, the capitalization? Or should I say the severe lack of all of those things. Infuriating. Would love to know what "good job" you claim to possess, because it clearly isn't anything that involves the written word.<br />
<br />
In any case, I highly recommend Juice lets this one move in. For my amusement if nothing else.</div>
Zanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11318589344918416090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8925395.post-29057726977295239792012-08-14T04:07:00.000+10:002012-08-17T04:11:52.820+10:00Next Year, For Sure<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Okay so that whole City2Surf thing didn't really work out. I suppose I should be happy I shaved 30 seconds off of last year's time (in particular considering my 'training'), however I still missed my target by 95 seconds and 2 days later I am still in extreme pain. Like, I make awful sounds every time I sit down, can't say my colleagues are loving it.<br />
<br />
Also, didn't even get any decent photos out of it. As you can imagine, I probably won't be shelling out money to get the official version of this one:<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgstmYgzKtAhNuew3P9lBJxhwpC-Bq6R0ZByxv0XPoGU01pnsaPpw6T6cyNWsyvoIVe94URZ6oHQ3GdbUiNf1zFzXE53-Mx6jITRIawKoMxfIXej_ksDGHJT7SjTeobADyYnDqUHg/s1600/City2Surf.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgstmYgzKtAhNuew3P9lBJxhwpC-Bq6R0ZByxv0XPoGU01pnsaPpw6T6cyNWsyvoIVe94URZ6oHQ3GdbUiNf1zFzXE53-Mx6jITRIawKoMxfIXej_ksDGHJT7SjTeobADyYnDqUHg/s320/City2Surf.png" width="212" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
I mean seriously, I look miserable. Like suicide may be an actual option at this point. Even better, the other photo they had for me was actually a photo of some random fat Asian guy who happened to have the same last 3 digits I did.<br />
<br />
NEXT YEAR.</div>
Zanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11318589344918416090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8925395.post-12981959477090265252012-08-09T03:43:00.000+10:002012-08-17T14:49:08.746+10:00This Should Be Interesting<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
On Sunday I will be participating in the City2Surf (a 14km run from Sydney's centre out to Bondi Beach) for the third time. Last year I was pretty focused in my preparation, and my time was just over 72 minutes, and while it was an impressive time I set my sights on doing it in under 70 minutes this year.<br />
<br />
And so, in order to prepare to push myself that much harder, here's how I've trained for City2Surf 2012:<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>I've been running outside a total of 3 times in the last month</li>
<li>I have strenuously avoided running or even walking up any kind of hills</li>
<li>This was after spending 2 weeks eating my way through the US and Mexico</li>
<li>I love beer</li>
</ul>
<br />
So yeah, this may actually be farcical. And yet, I am still fixated on 70 minutes. Will let you know how that goes.</div>
Zanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11318589344918416090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8925395.post-67936265958822696832012-07-31T10:05:00.000+10:002012-08-02T10:06:00.352+10:00I Come Bearing Gifts<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I know, I've once again ignored my blog for weeks on end. Real posts are coming, but in the meantime I give you the greatest music video since ever.<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/9bZkp7q19f0?fs=1" width="480"></iframe></div>Zanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11318589344918416090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8925395.post-79682672246534282852012-06-16T06:16:00.002+10:002012-06-16T06:16:32.336+10:00Where Are They With That Cloning Technology?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I have FIVE projects launching on or around July 1. One of which I've been working on for an entire YEAR. And of course, I am leaving on my next vacation on June 25, so I won't actually be around to watch them all go live.<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I'm normally thrilled about holidays, but this one has me mortified because I have so much to do in a week that I'm waking up at 4 in the morning making mental to-do lists. Whenever anyone gives me an excited reminder that I only have a few days left before I jet off to LA-Mexico-Chicago, I actually get heart palpitations.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
It's gonna take a lot of tequila to get me to stop worrying about this. Maybe I should start now.</div>
</div>Zanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11318589344918416090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8925395.post-33504951455164113102012-06-13T13:24:00.000+10:002012-06-16T06:13:18.665+10:00Doctor's Orders<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Dental issue seems to be resolved. I went back yesterday (this time to my usual dentist, who told me I was an idiot for taking the laser treatment option) and we just ripped the offending tooth out. Some actual conversations during the 40 minutes I was there:<br />
<br />
<b>Dentist:</b> So what do you want to do?<br />
<b>Zander:</b> Let's just rip the tooth out and call it a day, shall we?<br />
<b>Dentist:</b> You know, you may want to just get the bottom wisdom tooth out as well while you're here.<br />
<b>Zander:</b> I don't think that will be necessary.<br />
<b>Dentist:</b> But...<br />
<b>Zander:</b> Listen, I majored in Marketing. I think I know what I'm talking about<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>Dentist:</b> Okay, so no drinking at the moment while you're healing.<br />
<b>Zander:</b> Wait, for how long?<br />
<b>Dentist:</b> A few days, I guess.<br />
<b>Zander:</b> This is important. I need you to be specific. Can I drink on Friday?<br />
<b>Dentist:</b> Oh whatever, you can drink tonight if you want to.<br />
<b>Zander: </b>Sweet.<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>Dentist:</b> Now go straight home, get some rest and start taking the painkillers.<br />
<b>Zander:</b> I have tickets to see <i>Prometheus </i>in 3D at the IMAX theatre in 90 minutes.<br />
<b>Dentist:</b> Ooh, tell me how it is! Oh, and no popcorn.<br />
<br />
<br />
(For the record, my laissez-faire attitude towards medical advice hasn't seem to have backfired. Yet.)</div>Zanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11318589344918416090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8925395.post-34765244458120512672012-06-07T05:59:00.000+10:002012-06-16T06:06:21.736+10:00Dental Hell<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
My excuses for going quiet this time? Apart from work being insane and looking like it will stay that way through the end of the month, I've been having a dental problem for a couple of weeks now. Specifically, a couple of my wisdom teeth have come in a bit more, and as a result the top tooth keeps grinding against the gums on the bottom of my mouth every time I eat or talk.<br />
<br />
To summarize - I literally can't stop biting myself.<br />
<br />
In any case, I finally went to the dentist (not my usual one) and she gave me two options - remove both the top and bottom wisdom teeth on that side of my mouth, which didn't actually feel like an option given how busy I am at work, or use a laser to cut away the gums that are being affected. I chose the latter, since it sounded simpler and with less complications.<br />
<br />
That was 3 days ago, and I'm pretty confident that I chose THE WRONG OPTION. If anything it hurts even more (although at least I can now speak without too much issue, but eating anything other than soup is a disaster), and the back of my mouth looks like an arson scene. Sexy, I know.<br />
<br />
Worst part? I'm heading up to the Blue Mountains for the long weekend tomorrow evening, and given it will be horribly cold I would normally spend the entire time eating shitty food. But now I have to bring CANS OF SOUP.<br />
<br />
Hope you enjoyed my pity party.</div>Zanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11318589344918416090noreply@blogger.com0