Thursday, May 15, 2008

That Other Dirty Word

I mentioned to my colleague that I was trying not to drink for most of this week due to my ridiculous drunken behavior over the previous weekend. And he had the nerve to tell me that I should try...DETOX.

I cannot stand that word and what it implies for so many reasons, some of them being:

1) I fail to see the point. Oh wow, you get to feel and look great for a few days. And then you go back to your old habits, and look and feel like shit all over again. Rock on.

2) I absolutely hate it when otherwise fun and boisterous friends decide they are going to detox, therefore depriving me of a drinking buddy. It's just utterly selfish, really.

3) In my professional medical opinion, it's just as unhealthy as going on a crash diet. Unless you have the ability to maintain it as a lifestyle (and therefore sacrifice the things that make life worth living), then once you start up again it will be even more of a shock to the system. Just call me Doctor Zander.

Anyway, I had made it FIVE days without drinking (I actually don't remember the last time I did that) and was thinking about holding out until Friday (tomorrow), but now that I've been provoked, I plan to drink as much as I damn well feel like tonight, and feel like crap tomorrow. That'll show 'em.

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