Okay, so this is a cry for help. We've just received confirmation of the theme for my firm's ball this year, and it's apparently Sparkle & Sophistication.
I find this extremely boring. Last year the theme was Gotham City, which resulted in some of the most entertaining costumes I've ever seen at a party. And my main concern is that without proper costumes, people will get boring and just try to look good.
Screw that. As we know, I am completely incapable of taking a party theme seriously. Please refer to my recent wearing of female genitalia on my head at a wig party.
So...what should I wear? A few options have crossed my mind. I could locate one of those Bedazzler things from the 80's and attach cheap plastic rhinestones to an old suit, and look like a tacky jerk who is trying to be sophisticated. Or I could just go completely in the opposite direction, and show up in rags, with a shopping cart and perhaps a strange and hard-to-identify odor.
Suggestions are welcome. And mandatory.