Friday, July 06, 2007

'Remember, there is no "I" in "Team America".'

It's been a good week - my huge project has been put on hold, which means that soon things will go back to normal. Normal for me of course meaning that I have plenty of time to blog and send personal emails while earning an inflated salary that would make the average world citizen choke on their Red Cross rations. Ah, well. Someone's gotta live the life.

It may be Friday, but I'm going to try and take it easy tonight and be home by 9pm. While you are probably reading that and rolling your eyes, I have some pretty good motivation. I'm having a party tomorrow night, I think there might be a rather large turnout, and I have literally done nothing to prepare besides sending out an email invite.

But I'm still excited, as I decided that being so close to July 4th, the theme should be...AMERICA. Apparently this theme is vague and yet inspiring enough that people are going to have to change when they get to my place because they are afraid of getting stabbed on the way to the party if they come in costume. Should be some good pictures.

I just hope at least one person comes as this lady:



NEW YORK – Idaho resident Kathy Evans brought humiliation to her friends and family Tuesday when she set a new standard for stupidity with her appearance on the popular TV show, "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire."

It seems that Evans, a 32-year-old wife and mother of two, got stuck on the first question, and proceeded to make what fans of the show are dubbing "the absolute worst use of lifelines ever."

After being introduced to the show's host Meredith Vieira, Evans assured her that she was ready to play, whereupon she was posed with an extremely easy $100 question. The question was:

"Which of the following is the largest?"
A) A Peanut
B) An Elephant
C) The Moon
D) A Tennis Ball

Immediately Mrs. Evans was struck with an all consuming panic as she realized that this was a question to which she did not readily know the answer.

"Hmm, oh boy, that's a toughie," said Evans, as Vieira did her level best to hide her disbelief and disgust. "I mean, I'm sure I've heard of some of these things before, but I have no idea how large they would be."

Evans made the decision to use the first of her three lifelines, the 50/50. Answers A and D were removed, leaving her to decide which was bigger, an elephant or the moon. However, faced with an incredibly easy question, Evans still remained unsure.
"Oh! It removed the two I was leaning towards!" exclaimed Evans. "Darn. I think I better phone a friend."

Using the second of her two lifelines on the first question, Mrs. Evans asked to be connected with her friend Betsy, who is an office assistant.

"Hi Betsy! How are you? This is Kathy! I'm on TV!" said Evans, wasting the first seven seconds of her call. "Ok, I got an important question. Which of the following is the largest? B, an elephant, or C, the moon. 15 seconds hun."

Betsy quickly replied that the answer was C, the moon. Evans proceeded to argue with her friend for the remaining ten seconds.

"Come on Betsy, are you sure?" said Evans. "How sure are you? Puh, that can't be it."

To everyone's astonishment, the moronic Evans declined to take her friend's advice
and pick 'The Moon.'

"I just don't know if I can trust Betsy. She's not all that bright. So I think I'd like to ask the audience," said Evans.

Asked to vote on the correct answer, the audience returned 98% in favor of answer C, 'The Moon.' Having used up all her lifelines, Evans then made the dumbest choice of her life.

"Wow, seems like everybody is against what I'm thinking," said the too-stupid-to-live Evans. "But you know, sometimes you just got to go with your gut. So, let's see. For which is larger, an elephant or the moon, I'm going to have to go with B, an elephant. Final answer."

Evans sat before the dumbfounded audience, the only one waiting with bated breath, and was told that she was wrong, and that the answer was in fact, C, 'The Moon.'

4 comments:

Freak Magnet said...

I would laugh at her, but I'd probably be just as stupid up there in front of all those people.

And I'm still waiting for my email invite. Yeah, there's no way in hell I'm coming, distance and all, but the thought would be nice.

amy said...

ok you do know that the story is made up right? LOL no really it didn't happen. Check it out on snopes:

http://www.snopes.com/radiotv/gameshows/millionaire.asp

Zander said...

Yes I did know that, however it's still funny and would have been a valid costume for my party!

amy said...

yes it is pretty damn funny, would be even funnier if it really happened :-) LOL just wanted to give you a hard time!