I spent the first half of this week in Melbourne, a city that I hadn't been to in over a year despite how much fun I always have horrifying the locals.
I landed early Sunday afternoon, and within hours was sitting by the pool with a number of work colleagues, beer in hand. In the end though, despite a visit to the local beer garden at the Belgian Beer Cafe, I managed to end the night at a reasonable hour.
If only the same could be said for Tuesday night. A quick rundown of the evening's events included:
5:30pm - Arrive at Madame Brussels rooftop bar.
5:31pm - Order a large jug of Pimm's.
5:48pm - Order a large jug of Mai Tai.
6:12pm - Order a large jug of something involving gin, which is never a good idea, even when it's not chasing Pimm's and rum.
6:53pm - Wine. Lots and lots of wine.
9:42pm - Realise how hammered we are and jump in a taxi.
9:43pm - Realise we haven't eaten dinner and tell the taxi driver we need to go to a McDonald's drive-thru, stat.
9:57pm - Arrive at a Hungry Jack's (Burger King), at which point Buggy refuses to have any food because it's not McDonald's.
10:17pm - Get home just in time for Buggy to "vom-vom" on the balcony.
6:00am - Alarm goes off meaning we need to head to the airport for a flight across the country.
If you think watching someone throw up on a balcony on a Tuesday night sucks, imagine sitting next to them for 5 hours in economy the next morning.
Guess I'm not heading back to Melbourne for a while.