Wednesday, September 26, 2012

You Will Forgive Me

So, I've apparently ignored my blog for most of September. Didn't even realize that had happened.

But to make it up to you, I have another installment of Ali B, crazy Facebook chick who loves sharing the details of her personal life with a guy she briefly worked with almost a decade ago. (Me.)

In any case, my very first blog post about her was titled "Why You're Single", mostly because half of her updated were about the fact that she didn't have a boyfriend. Well, guess what? SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND.

Now of course, I only determined this by sifting through the subtlest of hints in her Facebook status updates:

I know what you're thinking. "But Zander, she's barely insinuated ANYTHING about being in a relationship, I think you're jumping to conclusions." But you know what? I know her better than you do, so you're just going to have to trust me on this one.

In any case, it's great that she's found someone. If they've really been together for a whole month, maybe she'll start thinking about the usual next step in a relationship, like going on a vacation together, or maybe even introducing him to her friends, or perhaps...

DEAR GOD WOMAN. Seriously??

Anyway it may not matter, as a few days ago there was this:

And I figure it's not looking great when you're celebrating the dysfunction in your relationship when you've been together for less than 6 months. And finally, there was this:

For those who aren't familiar with passive-aggressive Facebooking, this generally tends to indicate that there's been a breakup. So we can go back to status updates like this one:

Oh, honey. That's more like it.

No comments: