Where Not To Go

I just read a New York Times article that left me in hysterics. As obnoxious and pretentious as Sydney-siders can be at times, it only takes a few stories to be reminded that New York still holds the trophy when it comes to complete and utter jackasses.

In a style article on "Dress Codes in New York Clubs", the writer goes around to hipper-than-thou establishments in Manhattan (and the Hamptons) and asks the owners/managers/promoters what sorts of fashions will get people let in or turned away at the door. Naturally those responding to the question manage to be vague and contradict themselves at the same time.


My favorite quote is probably:

For women, shoes are key. “Minimum five-inch heel,” he said. “Christians are our favorite,” he added, referring not to the faithful but to Christian Louboutin, the designer known for his red soles. Jimmy Choo and Christian Dior are also welcome.

I'm guessing the number of women who can both afford those shoes and walk around in them without looking like polio survivors is small, even in Manhattan. Also, I'd imagine your door staff would have to be made up entirely of gay guys who have far too much time on their hands, as I'm not convinced anyone else would be able to tell the difference (or at least I hope they wouldn't).


Best line that insulted people from LA:

“You get guys in from L.A., they think a brunch is a brunch,” Mr. Koch said. “We have to say, ‘Look, dude, this isn’t what you think it is.’"

As much as I dislike LA and most of the west coast, even I find it hard to be condescending because someone thought a brunch was actually a brunch.


And the award for total lack of self-awareness goes to:

Guys...are encouraged to wear “a nice sports coat, a really great flower-print shirt underneath, maybe a matching pocket square,” Mr. Dusheiko said. “We respect individuality.”

Uh yeah, the same way Communist China in the 1960's respected individuality, I imagine.


In any case, I've never been known as any sort of style guru, and it's unlikely I'd ever find a reason to go to any of the places mentioned. So in order to avoid sounding like a hater, I will stop mocking all of these people now and try to find a list of places in NYC that I'd actually want to hang out in when I'm there in a few weeks.