Friday, March 11, 2011

Shame Can Be A Good Thing

As I made my way through yesterday's issue of The New York Times I came across an article about St. Patrick's Day in Hoboken, New Jersey. Not only does it take place weeks before the day it should, but apparently it has turned into an orgy of drunken, lawless debauchery that would rival Mardi Gras in New Orleans.

All of that is something I'd classify as "not my problem", and I was about to close the article after a few paragraphs when I came across this part:

Nicole Magana, 33, said she kicked off a 15-hour spree on Saturday by taking a beer with her into the shower. Around 9 a.m., she arrived to a “kegs and eggs” themed party, which she left for a different “beer and bagels” event nearby.

On Tuesday, Ms. Magana, a real estate broker, was still carrying in her purse a color-coded itinerary she had drawn up of all the house parties she had planned to visit that day. Over the course of the festivities, she heard about a friend who was given a ticket for the unlikely offense of throwing meatballs out of a window.

I have SO many issues with these two paragraphs, that I will sum up with the following comments and questions:

1) Surely this girl was still drunk when she talked to this reporter? Why would you give you full name, age, and occupation to accompany it with what a retarded drunkard you are? Making the parents proud, I'm sure.

2) Since when is "throwing meatballs out of a window" a proper offense? And really, if the festivities get as out of hand as the article suggests, I would assume the police had better things to do.

3) Why has it never occurred to me to take a beer into the shower with me? (Probably related to the fact that I've never been invited to a "kegs and eggs" party.)

This idiot then goes on to blame the increase in arrests and injuries on "the bridge-and-tunnel crowd", apparently not realizing that by residing in New Jersey, that would include her. And really, honey, trying to blame "out-of-towners" for hooliganism when you've just admitted that you and all your friends started binge drinking before 9am is pretty lame.

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