*Sophistication not required

This Saturday was our annual ball. Last year we were really able to let loose with the Gotham City Black & White Ball theme, which is probably part of the reason we ended up with a bit of a boring theme this year: Sparkle & Sophistication.

I personally chose to dispense with the sophistication and focus purely on the SPARKLE, and I think I did pretty well considering I purchased my accessories only hours before the event:




To add to the obnoxiousness (is that a word? I feel like I should know the answer to that), I also bought a small container of glitter, and once everyone was drunk enough, dumped it over a couple of my colleagues. Needless to say, we've all since been picking glitter out of our hair, clothes, and beds. And everyone hates me. Per usual.

NY Style

I have long maintained that despite how much of a drunken moron I am in Sydney, I was much more of a drunken asshole in New York.

Of the many times I displayed that character trait over the past 10 days, I'm pretty sure that Thursday night was my shining moment.

After drinking far too much vodka in a short space of time, I met some friends at a bar where there happened to be a drag show on that night. A friend ended up on stage, so I pulled out my camera to take a picture. Upon seeing this, the drag queen yelled at me to "Make [her] look pretty!"

Without missing a beat, my mouth responded with "It's not a magic wand, sweetheart.", to which the entire bar went "Ooohhhhhhh", all prompting the drag queen to completely flip out, come through the crowd, grab me by my collar, and spit in my face.

I don't claim for a moment that I didn't deserve that. I'm more amazed that NYC seems to bring out some untapped reserve of bitchy comments that seem to remain at least slightly concealed when I'm in Sydney. Seems a bit of a waste, really.

Pictures from New York coming soon...

How Am I Still Alive?

Sometimes the amount of energy I'm able to drum up to keep partying amazes even me.

My flight landed a little before 6pm on Friday, and after a quick shower and a change, I proceeded to go to dinner, drinks, and then party until 5 in the morning. And even though I was the one who had just gotten off a 24 hour flight, it was all of the New Yorkers who were dropping like flies. In the end it was only me and Jaya, who always puts in a good effort, but when she went to put down her drink on the table and missed by several feet (essentially dropping it in the middle of the dancefloor, and on someone's foot, no less), I knew that our night had ended.

Saturday was more of the same, and we ended up in Hell's Kitchen dancing like idiots and taking stupid photos.

And Sunday managed to be just as ridiculous, as we decided to hit up Libation for their $19 brunch special that now includes three premium cocktails (usually worth some $15 each) before moving on to a few more bars, including Porch in Alphabet City which apparently turns into an afternoon dance party - with free dumplings. Ah, the randomness of NYC.

As usual, Jaya and I were the last ones standing (or maybe 'swaying' would be more accurate by that point), so we made our pilgrimage to Tribe and ended up dancing at a packed Le Souk after 1am, which was around the time Jaya remembered she actually had a job to go to the next day.

From the looks of it, today (Monday) is the only day I'm here that has even the potential to be a relatively quiet night involving less than 10 alcoholic beverages. Wish me luck.

First Class Comes To Me

One thing a lot of people comment on when I say I'm flying from Sydney to NYC and back is the 24 hour trip each way. I generally don't mind it too much, partially because I've always loved flying, and partially because it's all part of the journey to me. But of course, I like it a little better when I'm able to upgrade and fly in luxury.

Unfortunately, the airline I usually fly decided that I wasn't allowed to use my points to upgrade to Business class because I had supposedly bought the ticket on sale. I'm not sure when an airfare to anywhere that costs more than $2300 started to be considered a bargain, but I figured I would just deal with the situation and save my points for another day.

But then fate stepped in to lend a helping hand. I still ended up in Economy, but the woman checking me in was good enough to get me an exit row seat, and even tagged my bags as Priority just to help me get to the bar a little faster once I finally got to NY.

I also ended up sitting next to a pretty cool guy for the entire trip. I didn't talk to him much on the long first leg as I was busy catching up on movies and taking naps in between, but ran into him during the LAX layover and was a bit friendlier for the LAX to NYC leg. More importantly, an older and ridiculously gay (not to mention hilarious) flight attendant took a liking to him. I almost wanted to be offended that I was completely overlooked, but in all fairness the guy did look a lot like Matt Damon, and was insanely nice (he looks after his down syndrome brother when he's home in Australia, and was on his way to teach kids how to swim at summer camp in Maine), and while I am pretty full of myself, I didn't really ever think I could compete with a guy who seems like a character out of some dippy romantic comedy that tends to set women's expectations of "real men" way too high.

So, the flight attendant started bringing us stuff from first class. This included:

• Fancy desserts
• An entire cheese and fruit platter
• Bottle of port
• Half bottle of Dom Perignon
• First class headphones (supposedly valued at $450, still in my possession)
• Travel kits

He even offered to steal some bottles of booze from Duty Free for us, but at that point we had to decline, since that sounded a little too sketchy.

The one good thing about being the wingman in this situation was that I didn't feel like I personally had to return any favors (not that any were involved, that I know of), since I was just benefiting from association.

And now I'm in NYC, unable to describe how thrilled I am to be here, and have already had the greatest night of dinner, drinks, and dancing, which will likely be blogged about in a few days. Greatest. City. Ever.

Finally...

As mentioned in my last post, work has been ridiculous for the last couple of weeks. My client seems to be getting steadily more demanding AND idiotic, which is a truly powerful combination of traits to have to deal with on a daily basis.

For example - yesterday, I had a meeting to review some creatives with the client. My designer and I had already decided which one we preferred and would recommend, so of course as soon as we pulled the two designs out, my client says he loves the hideous one that we would never want to take credit for.

A ten minute discussion ensued that focused only on the colors used in each design, with him advocating the use of the one that combined an awful orange and light blue theme, while we argued for the simple and striking design.

And after all of that, he actually leaned back and said to us: "Well, I'm actually color blind, so I shouldn't have an opinion." He went on to explain that he actually can't tell any dark colors apart. I found the entire situation so ludicrous that all I could do was attempt to hold in my laughter at how such a person could even get to a mid-level position in marketing.

A few weeks ago, that situation would have sent me over the edge, and I would have returned to the office fuming and ranting. But it doesn't matter. It really doesn't affect my life simply because I am flying out to New York this morning. And no half-witted marketing peon is going to ruin my mood. Updates coming shortly...

Once Again...

...the blog was forgotten. This week has been completely insane, since we had Monday off for a public holiday, and I am not working tomorrow because I will be on a plane back to NYC.

However, this weekend did have a few highlights. Friday, I was exhausted after only a few hours of sleep, but give myself a pat on the back for drinking through my last conference call of the day, polishing off half a bottle of wine at a bar, and then heading to a friend's place for a beer and probably a few insults before going to a friend's birthday dinner.

Once there, I asked some guy I'd never met if he was dating a girl at the table. Turned out they were brother and sister. So much for first impressions. I eventually knocked over and broke a glass of wine while teaching people what "The Spiderman" was in sexual slang, and even went to Trademark for a few beers and a couple of tequila shots before quickly leaving when I realized that I was likely to topple over at any second.


Saturday was pretty low-key -- drinks in Newtown for a few hours, followed by a birthday party at Arthouse, and I got myself home and in bed by around midnight.

And Sunday was probably the most interesting. It looked like I was going to finally have a quiet evening at home -- and it was depressing me to the point of tears. Just when I'd decided I had given up, and the next person to invite me to something that evening was going to get an affirmative answer, I had a call from friends drinking in Paddington, and got to the pub in 20 minutes. Turned out we were celebrating the fact that one of them had been arrested for drunk driving (which they annoyingly call "drink driving" here), but by the time he got to the station and took another test he was just below the limit, and was released.

Once the drunkest of the crew went home, LuLu and I decided to hang out with her friends at the pub, who happened to also be the owners and managers. Far too many free beers and tequila shots later, we got the hell out of there when it became apparent that a couple of lesbians were about to instigate World War III, and didn't care who was caught in the crossfire. Still, I'm a firm believer that free shots and lesbian drama are key ingredients for a perfect night.

And Monday was just more drinking from 2pm onwards. My poor liver.


So now I've just had the craziest week, while barely having 5 minutes to plan who I'm going to be able to meet up with while I'm back in NY after the first time in 16 months, and while some friends have been more than accomodating, others have been less than helpful, which just gives me visions of people giving me shit about not spending enough time with them -- and me not caring.

And although I sound like a bitter jerk at the moment, I am actually ridiculously excited to spend 10 days in NY after so long, so much so that the antics of my Client From Hell are purely amusing at this point. I need to go away more often...

Alive and Kicking

Apologies for the blog silence lately. Apart from a drunken dance party at a friend's place on Saturday after I was finished at work, and then offending a friend's mother at lunch on Sunday, I've actually been pretty quiet.

Last night was my first night being out and social after the weekend. We actually started at lunchtime at Opera Bar for a farewell, moved to our local work pub, and stopped into a Korean BBQ joint for dinner. I made the very wise decision to go home after dinner and turn down karaoke, which I'm thanking myself for having seen the condition of several of my colleagues. One has already admitted he is still drunk and literally looks like he is about to pass out on his desk.

Meanwhile I've got plans tonight and tomorrow, and we have a long weekend coming up, so there may be some stories, although I'm trying to keep things relatively low key, as I should probably be saving my energy (and money) for my trip to NYC next Friday. Fat chance, I know, but it's good to have goals.