Weekend In Review*

*I'm obviously gushing with creativity today


27 YEARS OF DOUCHE

Friday night we celebrated Joe, the court jester of douche, and his birthday. The most shocking moment was when he actually managed to tell me that he wanted to go to Sin Sin. Keep in mind this is a kid who wouldn't be able to tell you if he'd like some more AIR if you put a gun to his head, so this was like watching his personal growth right in front of my beautiful brown eyes.

Still, questions were raised that evening:

How much does a 6'8" Indian (dot, not feathers) weighing 250 pounds have to ingest to be completely wasted? We never got the stats from Varghese, but he definitely managed to show up to my apartment at 9pm with issues getting from one end of the hallway to the other. Shining moment? Upon realizing that 75% of the males in my livingroom weren't circumcised, turning to Jeff and yelling "WE HAVE ENOUGH FORESKIN IN THIS ROOM TO COVER YOUR FACE!". And then turning around, walking out of the room, and promptly slamming his face into one of my hanging lamps. Smoothness, dude.

What does it take for our crew to NOT be the most obnoxious idiots on the subway? Um, a lot. More than we've ever witnessed before. And yet, it happened. Competition was fierce between the 74 Mexicans in our subway car alone who were chanting soccer anthems, and the ghetto youths who as soon as we sat down walked up to me and asked about Jessica "Yo is that your wife?!" (I told them she was my sister, and they promised to show respect while hitting on her.) Key quote was when Joe followed one of his comments with "Psych!" and one of these future leaders of society said "Oh SHIT that dude just said 'Psych'!! He must be MAD old yo. I'm nineteen...he must be twice my age...he must be like...FORTY SIX!" New York City Public Schools, represent, yo.

When will Emily realize that she's not supposed to dance on couches? I don't know, but I hope it isn't anytime soon. Go on with yo bad self!! And don't let nobody hold you down. Except for the bouncers. They're big.

How many pictures is too many on a night like this? Not quite sure, but I'd have to guess that number is definitely lower than ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY-FOUR, which breaks previous records as far as I know for a few drunken hours out on the town. If you're looking to kill a solid 10-15 minutes at work, the whole set is available here.


COURTNEY'S BDAY

Emla and I headed up to Cristin's place for pre-gaming for Courtney's birthday. I was hesitant to go along with the group, considering the birthday celebration was at Red Sky, which generally elicits reactions ranging from "God, I hate that place" to "That's a bit close to the PATH trains" to "Oh sweet Jesus that bar makes my eyes bleed".

Still, I was in the mood for fun and we ended up having an awesome time, although what I remember best is Cristin not being able to get over the "bartender with the Whitesnake hair", which caused us all to look and smile/laugh in her direction every 4 minutes, I'm sure she wasn't self-conscious at all.

Cristin's recap of the night is way better, so mosey on over there for more details.


FAREWELL PARTY #1

Sunday I barely managed to stumble out of bed in order to get over to Natsu's place, where she was awesome enough to make her housewarming party double as a farewell dinner for yours truly.

I'd like to pretend that I didn't repay her kindness by drinking several glasses of sangria, eating a ton of food, and then passing out in her bedroom for over an hour, but then I'd just be lying, really.


Now I'm trying to stay mostly sober until Thursday's Farewell Party #2 with my work colleagues. I'm guessing meeting up with my mom this evening isn't the way to go. Shit.