Unfortunate Events

Thursday evening started as goodbye drinks with my colleagues, as everyone bid a very happy farewell to the person who has blatantly sit in the office for three and a half years and done less work than an 6-year old epileptic midget chimp could have completed in much less time.

After a few hours, I grabbed a couple of the people whose company I actually enjoy, met up with some others, and went out on the town for drinks, dumplings, and karaoke. Good times of course, but both myself and New York as a whole could have done without several elements:

• Hanging out with two girls nicknamed "Big Knockers" and "Little Knockers", both of whom seemed way too comfortable being called those names in public
• My attempt to buy a pair of briefs at Dumpling Man that said "Eat My Dumplings" on the crotch
• The bitchy cashier telling me that even if she did have them in stock, they'd probably be too small for me
• My (way too loud) response -- "BUT THAT'S THE POINT, PEOPLE NEED TO SEE THE DUMPLINGS!!"
• "Barbie Girl", a duet by Little Knockers and Zander
• Me singing "I Swear" by All-4-One
• Me singing "Mambo Number 5"
• Me singing. Period.

Of course now my throat is a complete mess from all the singing and drinking and yelling and god knows what else, so I'm gonna have to take it relatively easy to make sure I'm in top form for Farewell Happy Hour and Karaoke on Tuesday. Which means...boring blog for a few days. My bad.