Friday, June 29, 2007
I've also been bitter that I was unable to get a room in the hotel I liked so much last time, the Park Hyatt, so I had to settle for the Grand Hyatt, which I suppose is fine but it's kind of like flying First Class and then having to downgrade to Business. It's just not up to my newly established standards.
I haven't really been able to enjoy Melbourne just yet either. I went to dinner and drinks with a friend and some other people last night, and made it to around 9.30pm until a week of 12 hour days finally caught up with me and I had to head back to the hotel for some sleep.
However today is looking much better. I've managed to time my visit here with the Melbourne office quarterly event, which is none other than 10-pin bowling, one of my favorite activities where I make a complete ass of myself because I'm so childishly competitive.
Not only that, but some friends from Sydney are all flying in today to spend the weekend, so I will party with them tonight but be the only one who didn't actually pay for his own flights or hotel. Suckers.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
1) Toothpaste -- I keep meaning to write to Crest and Colgate after each trip to the supermarket where I need to buy toothpaste. Because someone, somewhere, NEEDS to explain to me why there are so many different types. Not brands. I mean, one whitens your teeth, one freshens your breath, and another one prevents cavities.
Now correct me if I'm wrong (which I'm not, because I never am), but isn't toothpaste supposed to do all of those things? And what numb nuts walks down the aisle thinking "Well, I definitely want whiter teeth, but fresh breath, no way!" If that person exists, I want to lobotomize them with a plastic spoon, if that isn't what's happened already.
2) Grapes -- or more specifically, grapes with seeds in them. I just need to know...WHY?! Are there really people on this planet who enjoy biting into a grape and then having to spit out the remnants of a seed? Why aren't all grapes seedless? Why do the fruit growers and distributors of the world hate me?
That is all. I will try and be a little cheerier tomorrow.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
When you actually read the article you can't really tell for sure what the offending crew member really meant (although I will give the benefit of the doubt and assume he just meant a rapper as opposed to a black guy), but I am loving the hints of racism in the article itself. In particular:
Xzibit took this to be a racist remark and immediately “went out the front door hopped in my sh*t and rolled out”, which presumably means he got into his car and left.
*I feel like I've used this title before? My apologies.
From our team, only two of us really dressed up for the event, but other than the expected characters (Batman, Robin, Poison Ivy, Catwoman, etc.), most people seemed to throw the theme to the wind and dress up however the hell they wanted. Attendees included:
- A Super Mario Brother
- The Transformers
- At least a few "Goth" freaks
- A Klansman (I wish I was kidding -- imagine how mortified his table must have been having to sit with him)
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Trivia is no exception. It's one thing if I have no idea what the answer is and someone takes a guess. However people arguing with me really irritates me, since it clearly means that they didn't get the memo that I'm always right.
The other thing that bothers me is people not paying attention. So you can imagine how frustrated I got on Tuesday evening when Team America Kate decided to commandeer the answer sheet, but then failed to pay any attention to what was going on, and ended up putting answers in the wrong boxes and combining answers that had nothing to do with each other.
As an example -- apparently, in the 70's at some point, Stevie Nicks sang a duet with...Henry VI. Also, the toy made famous by Donald Duncan in 1929 was...Jack Nicholson. Who knew?
We ended up coming in around 3rd or 4th, meaning there was no prize. Probably a good thing, since the prizes tend to be bar tabs, and I have had a sore throat for days now and really shouldn't be drinking at all.
In other news, I just had the worst day at work since I started this job, and so I've decided to spend the last few minutes watching Japanese people being weird. I'm feeling better already...
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Like almost anyone, I don't like going to the dentist. I used to absolutely hate it, but my obsession with knowing my teeth are clean (do you guys ever have that dream where all your teeth are falling out? I used to have it all the time and I'm still traumatized) has ensured that I go approximately every 6 months for my cleaning and checkup.
However this time I'd managed to put it off for 10 months, and last week a paranoia suddenly struck me and I was convinced that despite not having any pain or anything, I was going to end up like this kid.
Anyway, I trudged over to my usual dentist last night, where he inspected my teeth and then said to me "Okay Zander, I'm going to clean your teeth now and then we can have a chat."
I'm sorry, but doesn't that sound really ominous. So I sit there while he cleans my teeth, convinced that he's going to finish and then tell me that they all need to be ripped out because I haven't flossed 18 times a day for the past 27 years.
Finally he finished and had me sit up, and his words to me were "Your teeth and gums are perfect."
I will swear by all that is holy that I have NEVER heard that from a dentist before, and never expected to. Generally all I get (even from this dentist) is disapproving looks and then a lecture about how much I suck and all of my teeth will fall out by the time I'm 40.
So I'm still just a little bit ecstatic and loving that my investment in a $300 electric toothbrush last year may actually have been worth it.
And that's it. Me bragging about my teeth. Although I'm on my way to pub trivia at the moment, so I will try to bring back stories about how super smart I am after 8 pints of beer.
Monday, June 18, 2007
The usual crap.
Woke up having had not nearly enough sleep. Met friends for lunch, had a couple of beers over a game of pool, and then headed out west to spend the evening with the family. My cousin Emma was in a surprisingly good production of Les Miserables, after which I immediately went back to the house and crashed.
Woke up and still hadn't had enough sleep. Went back to my place so I could shower and change and then head to a farewell/birthday BBQ for someone moving back to the UK. Was so exhausted that I went home by 6pm and was passing out on the couch when I got a phone call from Murphy.
Naturally this somehow led to me drinking with Murphy and his gang until close to midnight, and all I've been thinking about for the last six hours is my bed. Unfortunately my trip home will involve a long overdue visit to the dentist for a checkup. Will the fun never end.
Friday, June 15, 2007
Having said all that, I love pictures, as many of you would know. If I go away for a long weekend I am sure to come back with around 100 pictures that I want to put online, write narrative captions for, and send to everyone I've ever met. However I generally never bothered with hard copies...until now.
I recently have been having little pangs of homesickness, and not that it really makes anything better, I decided, apart from framing and hanging a NYC subway map over my bed, to order prints of a lot of my favourite pictures of me and my friends back in NY and frame or hang them. Just in case you're wondering how I chose these pictures, the process pretty much went like this:
- Am I in the picture?
- Do I look good?
- Do I even like the other people in the picture?
- Even if I don't, do I look really good?
I found a picture frame that held three photos, and chose three rather civilized shots to go in there. However I had tons of additional photos that I wanted to put up and realized that buying 20 picture frames would be overkill, so I went with buying the cork picture board and just putting as many as possible on there.
This is what I ended up with:
It's a decent mix, although I intend to tweak it in the future. Some stats though:
A tie between Domini and Emily, no surprise there
Most appearances by someone I haven't really hung out with that much:
Joe's old roommate Jeff
Most random appearance:
My former coworker Kevin, who worked with me in NY for about 6 months and just randomly wanted to hang out with me and my friends one night.
Most overrepresented event, considering Joe is a total ass hat:
Joe's birthday, 2005
Most underrepresented demographic:
Asians -- only two of them in there, which is rather appalling considering most of the people I know from high school are from the yellow continent.
Anyway, that's it for now on this topic, as I've actually already changed some of the pictures since I took that, and I don't want anyone getting mad at me because they don't see themselves on there. You vain, vain bastards.
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Anyway, I managed to stay awake, and it paid off. We were all in hysterics for pretty much the entire episode, and I can't wait for more. Having said that, if ANYONE ruins the ending for me, despite the fact that you've already watched it in the US, there will be pain. A lot of it. Thank you.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
However, we made up for that.
Once we were all finished there, we headed down to the bar, opened a tab on a company card, and got started. Within a couple of hours, some of my colleagues were drunker than I'd ever seen them before, meaning things went from silly fun to rather weird and uncomfortable. The highlight reel:
- Me and Chronster tearing up the dancefloor while she stole cupcakes for me that had been left out on the bar. All fun and games until she didn't put the cover back on the tray correctly and everything ended up scattered all over the place.
- The guy who got married three weeks ago making out with someone who definitely wasn't his new bride. We had to send him home to his lucky, lucky woman.
- An extremely candid discussion of phone sex. Or perhaps more of a debate between those of the team who were experienced advocates and those who kept saying "What do you mean by phone sex?", as if anyone actually meant copulation with an actual phone. Playing dumb isn't cute, kids. You're probably a professional phone sex operator.
- A member of the team being found somewhat incapacitated in the women's bathroom, and being led away by paramedics (which may have been a bit dramatic, she's fine)
- One of our analysts deciding to sit down at the drum set and play along with the DJ's music -- until the band ran over (probably upset that he was playing better than they were), followed by security who told us all to "finish our drinks and leave".
- Things might have ended better if we hadn't walked out one door and back in through the other one to order another round of drinks, but hey, we thought we could get away with it considering we had racked almost two grand up on the tab. Apparently not, and we were asked to leave again, a little more sternly.
- Stopped by McDonald's before heading home, which wasn't that notable except for the fact that half of the people there didn't actually remember it until we mentioned it this morning.
I think being kicked out of the bar was really a result of a culmination of all of those events, since playing the drums generally isn't that much of an offense. Although we were rather amused that this is the second time our team has been kicked out of a bar because of an incident involving a drum set. Rock on.
Friday, June 08, 2007
- I actually had to do my US taxes yesterday. Or more accurately, I had to do my taxes, and then fill out a form that verified that I didn't actually have to do my taxes. It was complicated and annoying and makes me wonder who comes up with these rules. Better yet, if I get much more in the way of salary, I apparently WILL have to pay taxes both here and back home. Huh what?
- I'm over the Top Model fiasco, as we're referring to it these days, and simply looking forward to the nonsense that the American version will bring.
- I've been 100% sober for the last few nights, and I'm planning to make up for that this evening. We are leaving the office at noon for an "off-site", which I'm hoping translates to getting horrendously drunk by 6pm.
- Monday is a public holiday in honour of the "Queen's Birthday", which is amusing considering that even the UK doesn't have that as a public holiday. But hey, whatever gives me an extra day to recover from the usual Sunday drinking.
See you in a few days, kids.
Thursday, June 07, 2007
The last two girls we ended up with were Steph and Alice:
Naturally the skinny boring bitch won, which is a shame because apart from being disgustingly malnourished looking, she really did have the personality of a turnip, and in my opinion the most interesting models have always either been the ones who can actually hold a conversation, or the plain crazy bitches like Janice, Tyra and Naomi who are just pure entertainment. (Easily the latter role this season was filled by a girl named Paloma who would spend an entire episode yelling and being nasty to everyone, and then turn to the camera and with all sincerity utter things like "I just think I've been far too nice to everyone here.")
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
Zander: Check out that hottie.
Paddy: I think I see a wonky eye though.
Mickey: That's hot.
Mickey: What? I think it's cute.
Zander: What are you talking about? You like people who look retarded??
Mickey: Not retarded! Just a little bit...disabled.
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
I've found it's rather pointless to even hazard a guess at what someone like that was actually trying to find, but I figure anything that leads someone new to my blog is a good thing.
Monday, June 04, 2007
Friday was actually great, since I decided to stay the night in Melbourne so I could hang out with my coworkers a bit and bond over free booze in the office. They actually have Sing Star Karaoke in their breakout room, and I had the pleasure of kicking the former CEO's ass at "Just Like A Pill", which was kind of cheating considering I'd been at Pink's concert on Monday. I then proceeded to win yet again with "I Think We're Alone Now", leading a Canadian colleague to confirm that I was really good at singing like a girl.
And I feel like I should have plenty of funny stories from the weekend, but I unfortunately don't remember any of them or have the desire to type them all out here. I'll try harder this week though, promise.